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After a relieved sigh and a playful elbow to the ribs, he said, “Ain’t no worry o’er ‘at. None a t’all.”
Joel’s eyes were wide and innocent, like the young, sweet man that he was, but I’d seen him playing at the club. He and his two Doms liked to play with others, and they did that a lot. That wasn’t where his innocence lay, though. His heart was good and pure, loving the people who were good to him and being staunchly loyal and protective of them. The first time he and I had spoken about my relationship and breakup with Jeffery, he was ready to grab a shotgun and go after him for hurting me.
I’d heard he’d done that for Eli, saved his life from his ex. Joel was one of a kind.
“Well, I best get goin’. Got chores.”
After he left, I laughed to myself. From what he’d told me, he’d had a rough time with love, too. His, however, was that he’d never found any. In fact, he never thought anyone would love him as a partner. Then, he was doubly blessed with Damon and Burke. Now Joel had love in abundance from two men who were absolutely crazy about him.
I thought I had love, but if it was ever real, it didn’t last. I was surrounded by men that were in love, true and lasting love. It was obvious looking at them. In fact, I’d met some for the first time at a bachelor party, where two of the men in town married. I wanted that, what they had. I wanted a man who looked at me the way that Noah gazed at Eli, Burke’s best friend. He was a beautiful man, but Noah saw much more than his looks.
Thinking about it, I thought that was likely what it had been with Jeffery. He looked at me at times and I thought it was love, but it wasn’t. It was nothing like how Noah did with Eli or Damon and Burke with Joel. If I examined it, and I had a hundred times or more, it was lust.
And he traded me in for a younger, prettier man who was new and exciting when he’d grown bored of me.
At dinner, Damon, the stocky brunette with an easy grin, was going on and on about his new baby goats. They were twins, and Burke kept rolling his eyes when Damon wasn’t looking, then throwing a wink at me. “Damon, enough,” he finally said, then he leaned over to kiss him. “They’re adorable, really, but we’ve all seen them.”
“Can’t he’p it,” Joel said, then shrunk a little. “He keeps a yankin’ us to the pen.”
“Fine, fine, but they’re the first babies born on our ranch! The first of many, hopefully.”
“Damon, we’re not eating them or selling them, by your word, so we’re just collecting them?” Burke wasn’t as excited about the animals as the other two, but he was good at hiding it most of the time. Burke was brunette too, but taller and brawnier.
“If I can find people that aren’t going to eat them, I’ll sell them.”
“They’re both males, Damon. They can’t be used for milk, so we’re just having more pets.”
“Nah, Burke,” Joel interjected. “They’s real good to clear rough patches o’ grass and such. Better ‘an ridin’ mowers. Cheaper too.”
Damon smugly smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. “See, I’m saving us money.”
“We still have to feed them, have a big enough shelter for them.”
The argument was an ongoing one that Burke, I think, knew he’d never win. It was fun listening to them, though, as even in arguments, there was laughter and good-natured ribbing. It was glaring how different my relationship had been from theirs.
Jeffery was always serious. There was little humor in our home. His home. To see the smiles and hear the laughter made me long for a relationship like theirs, and it also made it clear I might not ever have it.
Later, I lay in bed, hearing their sex sounds make it through their ceiling, my floor. They were muted, and I knew they were trying to keep it down, but Joel was never very quiet. He was vocal with his ecstasy.
Those two men, they worked the hell out of him, but I hadn’t heard him cry for mercy yet. They were truly great matches for each other.
After putting my Air Pods in my ears and turning on some music to drown out the sex noises, I closed my eyes and the first face that came into my mind was the mayor.
Kendrick Belish. What a beautiful man. It wasn’t only his looks, though. The way he was with his kid, it was special. I remember being little, and sure, my parents were away a lot making movies, but the time we had together was wonderful. They were both very attentive, my mother showing me how to cook, my father taught me how to ride horses, to play chase, throw balls, and just laugh.
I missed him, and when I saw dads like Kendrick Belish, I missed him more. One thing my father taught me, and my mother fully agreed with, was that if you wanted to find a good spouse, watch how they were with their parents and around children. Of course, they meant a future wife, not a husband, but it fit.
I wasn’t stupid. In public, most people wear their best faces, pretend to be better than they truly are. The thing was little Colby’s eyes lit when he looked at his father. That couldn’t be faked. He adored his dad.
When I went to sleep, thinking about him, Kendrick, what I never expected was to hear about him first thing the next morning. I woke, got coffee in the kitchen once I showered and dressed and the second I sat on the bench of the dining room table, reading the news on my phone, Joel came in with Eli.
Eli, now there was a pretty man. He was movie-star pretty, like my father had been, and much like Kendrick. Tall, a lean profile with muscles that could be seen through his sometimes-tight clothing. I’d stared plenty at the man, though he was very monogamously married to another handsome man, Noah.
They took seats on the bench across from me, both grinning wildly. “What have you two been smoking this early in the morning?”
“Smokin’?”
“He thinks we’re high, Joel,” Eli explained. “Nothing, but someone got a call this morning from a certain someone that was asking about you.”
