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Nature welcomed us, as a couple, in that place, at that moment.
“Kanan, thank you for moving here and bringing me into the next chapter.”
“Yeah, it’s a chapter in both our stories. A new chapter.”
We walked around to a spot on the natural stone couch and sat together, kissing, breathing together, being together. My hand held the side of his head as my lips explored his, his hand tenderly on my waist.
As heated as we were for one another, we were able to keep it cooled enough that we spent that evening just being together. There was no sex that needed to be had that evening.
We talked some, but mostly we let ourselves be wrapped in the quiet of the night. We knew already that long conversations would need to happen, but not that night. Not the first night we could touch, we could kiss.
When he dropped me back at the ranch, I walked in a daze to the attic, finding Joel there, waiting for me. “Saw ya comin’, so I snuck up here to see how it was.”
I fell back on the mattress, giggling like a kid. “Joel! He’s wonderful. He’s…oh, God, I don’t know how to describe it!”
“Well, hells bells, I’m happy fer ya.” He sat on the mattress, and I noticed he was in underwear briefs and a t-shirt.
“Joel, were you guys…?”
“Oh, sure, but I was thirsty, got me some water and saw the headlights.”
“Go, have fun. Be with your guys and be in love.”
He cocked his head at me. “I ain’t in love with all o’ ‘em!”
Then I realized, it wasn’t only Damon and Burke, waiting in the bedroom. “Damn, Joel, go…do what you were doing. I just want to be up here, thinking about Rick.”
“Oh, sure. See ya!”
After he was gone, I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I looked to see it was Rick, and I smiled with my entire being. “Hello? Didn’t we just make out for ten minutes, saying goodbye?”
“We did, yeah, but I just got home, and I missed your voice. Sue me.”
“No, no, I’m glad you called. I missed you, too.”
“Will you…I mean tomorrow, I understand you’re obligated, but can you quit that job?”
“Quit? The shows at the club, you mean.”
“Yes, and don’t get me wrong, I am not some prude, but I am jealous. Having men leering at you like that, it’s making me a little crazy.”
I thought about just agreeing right away, but that had been my mistake with Jeffery. I agreed to everything he asked as my partner and Dom. I lessened myself for him, so of course, someone confident and sure of their own identity was more attractive to him. Not that I blamed myself, no, but I did see many of my own mistakes.
“Rick, I don’t want you to be jealous, but we need a commitment before I agree to give up any parts of my life, and even then, we need to discuss it first.”
He chuckled and asked me, “Am I that much of an ogre already?”
“No. You’re great, Rick. I just…”
“It was there before we began. I understand, Kanan. If it means something to you, I’ll try to understand.”
It didn’t mean anything to me except for the ability to dance. I could dance anywhere. “I could give you this one little thing right now, but what are you giving?”
He was quiet so long, I thought I’d overstepped. Then that made me angry. He was the one asking for something right off the bat, and he had the nerve—
“Anything, Kanan,” he said with his voice cracking. “I’d do anything for you. I’ve fallen for you without meaning to, without understanding that I could fall in love with a man. I’m shaken and scared and excited and looking forward to my life again.”
My anger dissolved and a lump developed in my throat that threatened to choke the life from me. I couldn’t express the words I needed to say, so instead, I asked, “Can I come home?”
