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“Our father managed to pass on his darkness to all of us, but it’s clung the most to Ed. He carries the deepest scars, both visible and invisible,” Artie says.
“So you see, Susan,” I say, taking her hands in mine. “What Ed said yesterday is absolutely inexcusable, but I wanted you to understand where he’s coming from.”
“I won’t claim that I relate. I had a very loving family growing up, but I’ll say that I understand,” Susan says finally.
“That’s all I need from you right now,” I say. “I’m not asking you to forgive Ed. I just want you to know where his head might be at.”
“So, do you know where he was last night?” she says.
I point to the fresh footprints on the floor and the covers thrown off the couch. There’s no doubt that Ed was here at some point.
“Let’s go now,” Artie says. “We don’t want him to get suspicious about where we are.”
“It’s better if we keep this secret between us for now,” I say. “Ed would probably want to talk about this on his own time.”
“He told me about Fiona,” Susan says.
This is surprising. He doesn’t like talking about his ex-girlfriend. “He did?”
Susan nods. “He told me what happened. I don’t blame him for not trusting me, especially after what happened with your mom and with her.”
“You’re not Fiona,” I say. “What happened with her is unfortunate, but I don’t think Ed is conflating the idea of you two. You couldn’t be more different from each other.”
Susan nods. “You’re right. I won’t force him to talk about this. He can talk whenever he’s ready.”
If he’ll ever be ready, I think to myself. It’s taken all of me to bring her out here to show her the truth.
* * *
I walkinto the house with Artie and Susan, feeling a bit anxious about how Ed is doing. As we enter the kitchen, I see him sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in his hands. He looks up and meets my gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly. I wonder if he can tell where we’ve been, but that’s absurd.
“Hey, Ed,” I say tentatively, not sure how to start the conversation.
Ed looks at us, curiosity evident in his eyes, as he asks, “Where have you guys been?”
I hesitate for a moment, weighing my options. Then, I decide to go with a simple explanation, not wanting to delve into the complexity of our journey. “We just went for a walk in the woods. Wanted some fresh air and to clear our heads,” I say casually.
Ed eyes me suspiciously. From his expression, it’s evident that he thinks there might be more to the story. “Just a walk?” he questions, his tone slightly skeptical.
Artie nods in agreement, chiming in, “Yeah, Susan just wanted to explore the surroundings a bit.”
Ed’s eyebrows relax, accepting our answer. “Ah, got it,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee.
I exchange a glance with Artie. Even after what happened yesterday, he’s behaving relatively normally.
“I saved you some coffee, Susan,” Ed says.
“I’m off caffeine now. For the baby,” Susan says, cradling her belly.
Ed’s jaw twitches, and for a moment I think he’s going to freak out like he did last night. “Did you book the doctor’s appointment?”
“What?” Susan says, sounding surprised.
“The doctor’s appointment,” Ed says. “For the baby.”
Susan sighs. “Ed, I’m not going to—”
“I know you’re not,” he says, standing up from his chair, “and I’m not asking you to. But we need to be careful with the baby now. Regular checkups won’t hurt.”
