AllFreeNovel
Share Us
With a squint of her eyes, Ruby considers this. “I think I wanted to know you,” she says honestly. “Jack carried on a relationship with you for more than twelve years—I actually have no idea how much more,” she says, realizing suddenly that it’s never occurred to her how long Jack and Etienne were in love. Somehow, in her mind, the relationship began at Julien’s conception, though that’s hardly likely. They’d known each other for so many years that for all Ruby knows, they’d started sleeping together on Etienne’s eighteenth birthday.
“I wanted to know you as well,” Etienne admits. She’s wearing a hammered gold band on her forefinger, and a matching bracelet on the opposite wrist. “I know it won’t mean anything to you, or maybe it will make you angry, but Jack spoke of you often.” Etienne watches Ruby. “He spoke of you lovingly.”
This frustrates Ruby and her casual façade drops instantly. She stands and paces the room, shoes still kicked off next to the couch. “How is that possible?” she demands, folding her arms across her chest. Ruby stops walking and turns her back to the bookcase as she eyes her late husband’s lover with a hurt look. “How can he have flown here to share your bed, to spend time with your son, and spoken ofme?”
She asks the question, but she’s not really searching for an answer, she’s trying to understand how Jack could have betrayed her that way. Beyond just having a mistress and a child and a second life, he sat around this…this…chateauin Bordeaux, sipping wine, reading French books, andtalking about her with love? Ruby is suddenly so mad that she wants to spit nails.
“He’s not allowed to talk about me,” Ruby says, jabbing a finger at Etienne. “And he’s not allowed to come here and just be himself and think about me.” She starts pacing again as the words tumble from her lips. “And hebetternot think it’s okay to talk about my children here.” Her finger jabs the air again. “How dare he.”
“Ruby,” Etienne says softly, looking up at her from her perch on the couch.
“I can’t imagine what’s going through his mind, acting like that,” Ruby says, throwing both hands in the air. “It’s completely not okay.”
“Ruby,” Etienne says again. This time Ruby stops pacing and looks at her. “Ruby, he’s gone,” she says softly. Her eyes are full of sympathy and sorrow. “He’s gone—it’s all in the past.”
“I know,” Ruby says defensively, though she’s just realized that she’s been talking about Jack in the present tense, as if he might walk in the door at any moment to receive her wrath. But he won’t. He’s gone, and he’ll never have to answer for the things he did. He’ll never have to explain himself, his thoughts, his actions. Beyond the letter that he’d left for Ruby, she has no clue about what went through his mind. “I know,” she says again, sinking back onto the couch in defeat and putting her face into her hands. “But I don’t understand how he could have done this—to any of us.”
Etienne spreads her palms and looks helpless. “We’ll never know how or why, but we can at least find a way to make something of what he left behind.”
This snaps Ruby out of her thoughts and she drops her hands, looking right at Etienne. “What he left behind is a mess,” she says angrily. She’s exhausted, and everything is finally piling up on her. It feels like a thousand pound elephant is sitting on her chest. “Jack went ahead and did what Jack wanted to do, and now you and I are here to clean up the mess.”
Etienne blinks a few times. “I’d like to not think of my son as a mess that needs to be cleaned up,” she says quietly, lowering her voice. As she does, they hear the back door that leads from the kitchen to the garden, which slams shut. “Julien is extremely loved and wanted, and whether you want to admit it or not, he was loved and wanted by Jack.” Etienne stands, her eyes suddenly changed from soft and sympathetic to fiery and intense. “You and I do have details we need to iron out, Ruby, but you need to know that Julien was not a mistake. I think we should talk tomorrow after we’ve all had a good night’s sleep.”
Etienne waits a beat before turning and walking out of the room.
Once she’s gone, Ruby sits there alone, staring at the shelves of books, at her shoes lying on the ground, at the cracked window and the dark night sky beyond. Dexter and Banks are still talking, but she can’t hear the words they’re saying.
She runs her hands over her tired face, trying to calm her breathing. Perhaps Etienne is right; maybe a good night of sleep will help her to keep herself in check.
Ruby gathers her shoes, turns off the light in the den, and makes her way upstairs to the guest room.
Chapter7
Etienne
The sounds of other people getting ready for sleep come from different corners of the house, and though Claire drove home and left Etienne with a houseful of strangers, she's not uncomfortable. After all, she and Ruby essentially shared the same man, Banks is a Secret Service agent, and Dexter North is a highly-regarded and extremely professional writer. No one who is currently staying in Etienne's house makes her uncomfortable, but the situation they're in doesn't necessarily lend itself to being completely at ease.
As she washes her face in the bathroom, Etienne looks in the mirror. She still likes what she sees there; time has been kind, and after all, she's French--it's acceptable for a French woman to age. In fact, there's a dignity to it, so long as one maintains a certain level of elegance. Jack had always been complimentary to her as she crept through her forties, telling her that he loved the way her body was changing, adored the small lines fanning out from her eyes whenever she laughed at something he said, and that he found her smarter and more interesting with each passing year. All of those things had made Etienne feel beautiful, and all of those words are ones she misses hearing.
Etienne turns off the faucet and pats her face dry with a fluffy white towel as she thinks about Jack. Jack, her hero. The man she'd loved for most of her life. The one who'd felt like an inevitability, in spite of the fact that he was anything but.
The first time they'd both given in to the desire they felt for one another had been a memorable night. It had been Etienne's thirtieth birthday, and Jack was in Paris to visit Etienne's brother, Yannik. They'd gone to a bar in the second arrondissement, and while Etienne and her friends shared several bottles of wine (Claire had been there that night, she recalls now), Jack and Yannik had sat at the bar, drinking whiskey and reminiscing as they watched over the women with mild amusement.
But at the end of the evening, as her friends piled into taxis to go home, Etienne had felt completely sober. There, at the bar, Jack sat next to Yannik, shirt unbuttoned to his clavicle, jacket off and slung over the back of his chair, and he'd looked to her like a movie star. A single soft light was trained on him and his hair had loosened and fell casually over his forehead. Both sleeves of his shirt had been uncuffed and rolled to his elbows, and his face looked tired but handsome. And then he turned around and stared straight at her and her knees went weak.
By the time Yannik had been satisfied that Jack would see his younger sister home, Etienne was convinced they'd spend the night of her thirtieth birthday together. And they had.
The next morning she'd woken up to find Jack next to her in bed, wide awake and watching her with curiosity.
"Good morning," he'd said in French, reaching for her. And then, in English: "You look gorgeous when you wake up."
Etienne had laughed and stepped out of bed, walking across the room completely naked and unselfconscious, as only a lithe, confident young woman of thirty can.
"What did we do?" she'd asked, choosing a long sweater from a drawer and pulling it over her head. It had fallen to mid-thigh, covering her nakedness. She closed the drawer and turned to him. "What does this mean?"
To his credit, Jack hadn't looked panicked at being asked what their night together meant. He'd fallen onto his back, rolling over so that he was staring at the ceiling, a smile still plastered on his face.
"It means that we're incredible together."
