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“Okay, so what if he had feelings for me?” I shift the conversation. “Hypothetically, if he did, I didn’t reciprocate. And you still left me.”
He leans back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair, and when he drops his arm to his side, his eyes dull in defeat. “I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
He opens his mouth, but his response is interrupted by the door being thrown open, and Chester barrels into the room huffing and puffing. “Damn stairs.” He clutches his chest. “Jack, I’m sorry to interrupt your evening, but you’ve got a phone call.”
“Can you take a message, Chester?”
“I can’t. It’s your mom.”
Before Chester can say another word, Jack pushes back from the table, the chair scraping along the floor. “Rachel, I’m sorry, I have to take this. Maybe it’s best…”
“I should go anyway. I have to be up early.” I collect myself, grabbing my clutch and moving to my feet as well.
I didn’t take into consideration how close we are, and now that we’re both standing, we’re even closer. Jack’s just an inch or two taller than me. The awkward tension crackles between us, and I’m unsure where we go from here. We only stand there for a moment, but that second seems to last a hundred years. I had become accustomed to not being in Jack’s orbit, but now that I am, my body craves the atmosphere, as if his presence is oxygen for my lungs.
“Good night,” I finally say, breaking the silence and ending the evening without any expectations. We’ve both said our piece, and that’s all we can do. I’ll let the pieces fall where they may.
“Good night, Rachel,” Jack whispers.
I turn without another word, not wanting to say something I might regret or open myself up any further, and nod goodbye to Chester. “Thank you, sir.”
The walk down the stairs and out to the valet is a blur, all of the smells and sounds of the restaurants blending into one big mess in my mind. The only thing clear in my mind is the image of Jack leaned back in his chair, looking defeated. Because while I don’t want to admit it to Jack, he’s right. Parker was in love with me. I used him to comfort myself, and it ruined our friendship.
“I’ll be right back with your car, ma’am.” The valet smiles at me, and I nod absentmindedly.
“Thank you.”
Jack and I will probably never talk again, so he doesn’t need to know the details between Parker and me. It would just hurt him and probably would have made things even worse tonight.
So the guilt hits a little less as I convince myself that I did the right thing by not telling him. By the time my car comes to a stop in front of me, I’m almost completely convinced. I hop in after tipping the valet, and my car connects to my phone automatically. My voice cracks as I say, “Siri, call Papaw.”
The phone rings twice before my grandfather’s growl answers. “Hey, girl.”
My heart clenches at the familiar endearment. My whole life, that’s how he’s greeted me. I’m not sure why, but it’s comforting and makes me emotional all at once.
“Hey, Papaw.” I clear my throat, checking both ways before pulling onto the main road. “What are you up to?”
“I’ve been kicking your butt at this word search game while you were MIA.” He chuckles. “I’m a level ahead of you now.”
“You know I can catch up in no time,” I counter, thankful for his lighthearted topic. “You just wait till I get home.”
“So what’d you and the ladies end up doing tonight?” He always refers to Ava, Amber, and Phoebe as the ladies.
I’ve been friends with them for less than a year, but having female friends is a good change of pace. Growing up, my friends were Jack and Parker, and look how that turned out. It’s been nice to have friends that aren’t romantically interested in me.
“You won’t believe this shit.” I spill the whole story, and by the time I pull into the driveway of the cabin I live in on my grandparents’ property, I’m already feeling much better.
“So, are you going to see him again?” Papaw finally responds after a moment of silence.
“I’m thinking no. It seems like it’d be best to leave things where they are. At least I kind of know what happened now.”
“Are you okay with what happened?”
I cut the ignition before grabbing my phone and pressing it to my ear. “Does it matter?” I laugh dryly. After collecting my purse and keys, I climb out of the car, and the door slamming behind me echoes in the night air.
“Make sure you lock up,” Papaw reminds me, ever the worrywart about my safety. He wishes I would just live with them instead of on my own, but I really needed the space. I love my grandparents, but I enjoy my solo life too. Just me, this two-bedroom one-bath cabin, and my rose vibrator. What more could a girl want?
