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Exasperated at his constant need to protect me from what, love? I glare at him. I’m not some delicate flower that needs saving all the time.
Pacing, the crunch of old fallen leaves beneath my feet, I try to make it make sense.
Okay, he didn’t want to push the relationship on me. Fine.
That tracks with his behavior. The cave. He avoided me at first.
It explains why he saved me. I had wanted to die, I had wanted to disappear into nothing. I stopped fighting and let it have me. It called to me then, like it calls to me now.
Oz rises and takes my hand with such speed that he won’t let go even as I jerk it back. His other hand grasps my chin and forces me to look at him. “I would rather you hate me forever than let you slip away into nothingness.”
My eyes narrow at him. He’s listening again, my thoughts aren’t safe. “Even if that part is true, that doesn’t explain Spencer!”
Confusion colors his expression as he regards me. “I didn’t know it was your ex until I found you. I didn’t know who died tonight. He was just some human passing by the bar Charlee frequents. Terrible luck.”
I yank myself away from him. I can’t take the lying anymore, and it’s tearing me apart.
Wren… Oz’s thoughts are pleading with me.
“Get out of my fucking head!” I demand.
Wren, please, listen to my thoughts. You’ll find the truth here.
So this thing works both ways. I can get in his head as well. I stare at him. I still feel such rage, like my blood is boiling. Layers and layers down, beneath that, is desperation. Desperate that I can believe him.
“Fine.” I concede and close the distance between us. I don’t know how this works, but I will try. I figure eye contact and maybe physical touch can’t hurt. I take Oz’s face in my hands and stare into his piercing blue eyes. How can I be this mad and still want to get lost in there?
It turns out that slipping into his mind is incredibly easy.
I was intentionally keeping you out before.
His voice is a whisper that dances in my head. I can feel him. I can sense his pain as he sees how tortured I am by what has happened. I can feel his love for me, deeper and more profound than I imagined. I can tell how difficult it was for him to maintain his distance initially. Above all, I can feel the absolute pure truth in his mind now that he has given me his final secret—the mate bond.
Oz has been fighting it for so long, doing everything he could to make sure it didn’t influence our time together. He is powerless against the physical draw it has on us both. The bond calls to be sealed, and the only way it can is if…
Oh.
That’swhy he took sex off the table but was content with other sexual acts. He didn’t want to seal it until I was aware of it.
It isn’t just sex that is needed. We both have to acknowledge it and share our blood and our bodies. Our minds will see every single part of each other. We wouldknowevery aspect of our mate, the bad with the good. He didn’t want to risk that happening until I was truly prepared for it.
Until I chose it.
Until I chosehim.
So damn noble all the time. It’s incredibly annoying.
And I can’t help but fucking love him for it.
Bonding isn’t especially common, and Oz has been around for seven centuries, only having seen it a handful of times. When it happens, it’s just once, just the one time. It’s a pull you feel to the other person. A desire for closeness, for love. It’s like finding another piece of your soul you didn’t know was missing. You can function without it, sure, but it feels so much better to have it.
It is pure, it is true.
And it hurts me so much.
Tears blur my vision, and he pulls me to him. “I will never lie to you again, Wren. I swear it on everything.” I believe him. I believe him, and that makes it worse. I can’t stand feeling how much he loves me right now. How he sees me, not when I’m disgusting. I push our minds apart, withdrawing into my own, and my turmoil welcomes me.
“I’m a monster,” I whisper against him. He rocks me back and forth, shushing me, muttering about accidents and intentions again. It is getting so close to sunrise. “I want to die.” My voice sounds small and far away. Oz stiffens.
