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NASEER
Ispendmoretimein Rhanaz now than before. I only travel when it’s necessary. I have cameras installed in our home in Chicago, hoping Jade will one day stroll in. I don’t date and whenever I must attend an event with a date. I pay for an escort and drop her off after the date. No point in letting any woman feel like I have love to give when I know I have nothing to offer.
I hear the knock on the door and my dad pops his head in. He walks in and takes a seat. Every month like clockwork he comes to check on me. I’d told him Jade broke up with me his response then was “It’s for the good” I didn’t like it, but I said nothing.
Since then, he’s come in to try and convince me to date more or encouraged more of Nadra and me.
“You should plan to marry soon.” my dad says soon as his butt hits the seat. I smile at him. No point telling him I already have a wife I just don’t know where she is. “Not interested in getting married any time soon,” I say giving him a straight face.
“You should be ready; I know you are not dating Mariam anymore, and you haven’t told me what happened between you two,” Dad asks.
“Nothing to tell, she broke up with me and left me. I have no idea where she is and I think that’s something that should make you happy,” I say to him without malice, though talking about her is making my heart race. Every time I lie in bed alone, she’s all I think about, her laugh and the way she kisses my scars every morning and runs her hand on my body. I would give anything for a passionate fight with her right now and our make-up sex afterward. I’m miserable but I put up a trained façade for everyone, especially my dad.
Only Rilwan knows how miserable I am behind closed doors since my misery loves company. I make him miserable too. I have tried everything to find Jade but no result. I know she didn’t vanish but hiding well from me. Which always baffles me.
“I know I wasn’t a fan of your relationship with her, but you were happy, and I would like to see you happy again with the right woman.”
I sigh and return a feigned smile.That’s just it, Dad, I had the right woman and she left me.
“Should I put the word out that you’re available?” he eagerly asks.
“Not sure I’m available for what the proper woman would want, Dad. My emotions aren’t available. Most of these women would want intimacy and I don’t have that to give” I didn’t say I’m single because I’m not single.
“How about we ease into it, Mariam is gone almost five years now and I think it’s time you move on with your life.” I didn’t like him saying that, but I can’t fight him on the stated fact. “Maybe a few dates will help.” He pushes.
“Fine, just don’t get upset when the women are returned unhappy,” I reply to my ever-eager dad.
“You’ll be the happy one, I’m sure of it,” he says, getting up to arrange my date. I don’t care. I know the end before we begin. He’s just a little too happy that Jade is out of my life. If only he would look below the surface and see that I’m hurting. I need my wife back not Nadra or any of the women he keeps throwing my way.
JADE
FiveYearslater
“Miriam, if you give me a chance. I promise to love and cherish you always. I know you haven’t let go of your children’s father but if you just give me a chance, you will not regret it. We could be a loving family.” Knox my boyfriend says to me, He and I recently started dating.
“What do you say we take a chance on each other?”
I pause, sigh. “Yes, we can do this. I know you genuinely love my children and yes, we can be a family.”
Knox exhaled, he probably thought I would say no, pulling me into a hug. “You won’t regret saying yes,” he whispers in my ears. We pull from the hug, and he reaches into his pocket, and out comes the ring. Tears fell from my eyes, it’s a beautiful halo diamond ring. It’s a perfect fit when he slips it on my finger. I burst into a tearful laugh and hugged him and for the first time, we kissed. I am happy. I have a chance at happiness and I’m going to grab happiness with both hands.
When Knox dropped me off at home later. My children are asleep. I’ll wait to tell them in the morning. After changing my clothes. I open my secret drawer hidden behind my bedside drawer. I pull out my wedding ring, and staring at it again a mix of emotions overwhelms me. Happiness and betrayal cloak me.
Knox is my chance of happiness again, it may not be like what was, my former was of course childish and foolish love. The veil was pulled, and the reality of my foolishness came crashing. Though I won’t change anything, I grew up and I matured. My heart may annoyingly still belong to him, but Knox is my mature relationship. One that can grow into love giving the chance and nurture.
I put the ring back and got into bed in Naseer’s shirt. My new beginning starts tomorrow. I lay back, with a smile on my face. Now that I’ve accepted Knox's proposal. I have till the end of my project to figure out how to divorce Naseer. The thought of it sounds harder than climbing Kilimanjaro, but I must if I want to have a future with Knox, I’ll eventually get to figuring out where it was officially filed.
I’ll have to find a lawyer soon but for now, I sleep. Turning in shirt. I drift off to sleep.
The twins Mira and Micah woke me up. I look at them and appreciate the beauty they bring to my life.
“Mom, wake up, what did you bring for us last night” asked Micah a duplicate of his father no doubt but mine alone. I took the money to disappear and that makes the twins mine forever.
“Mommy my hair is tangled again,” Mira says always conscious of herself, my ever-girly girl but her mannerism is her father all the way.
“My Lady and handsome gent, please go and brush your teeth and mommy will be with you. I need to call Aunty Taimani.”
“Okay Mommy” they echo leaving me for a minute. I look at my ring again. Exhaling I accept my new beginning and dial Taimani to tell her the news.
