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“Be careful, all of you!” I call out as I hear all three calling goodbye.
“Give Luna Bug a hug from us all. Love you both.” Calvin calls as the phone goes dead, and I stare at the screen for a moment, gobsmacked. Did he really just say he loves us? I know Logan has already said it, but I think part of that is because he is scared something will happen again, like he went through with his fiancée.
I pull on my pyjamas as I ask myself the one question I need to work out. Do I love the guys? I know Luna does. She even referred to them as her daddies the other night. I haven’t told the guys yet, as I think it is something we really need to discuss. They all say they want to be stepfathers to her, but how will that work on paper? Are the two of us always going to have a different surname to them? I know Jasmine is marrying the older of the O’Reilly’s and having a blessing with the other three, but it's different from our situation. The guys are all O’Reilly’s, so Jasmine will be changing her name to all of theirs. Whereas I would have to choose one of their surnames, and I don’t think I could do that. I wouldn’t want them ever to think I favour one over the others. They are all so important to me, and I know I need to know the outcome before I allow my daughter to love the men she wants to call dad.
I look into my mirror as I brush my hair and stop. Am I really thinking of marriage and name changes? I swore I would never marry again. When I changed our surname to my maiden name, I promised myself I would never change it to anything else ever again, yet here I am, wondering what my name would sound like with each of theirs. Chelsea Wilson. Chelsea Anderson. Chelsea Cambell. I think I could use any of their names. There may be so many questions and things to consider, but if my train of thought has told me anything in the last five minutes, I love them.
I love all three of my men.
Shit. I love them.
I need to stop reevaluating everything and just come clean to them. I love them, and I want a future with them. They say they want one with us, too and promise to show me that every day, and I need to promise them I will stop fighting my feelings and just let myself feel the love they are showing us.
I climb into bed and check my phone is on charge, hoping secretly that one of them has messaged, but they haven’t. But as I slide down under the covers and reach over to turn the bedside lamp off, I try to ignore my racing thoughts and all the worries of the guys and get some sleep.
But sleep doesn’t come to me naturally tonight as, for some reason, I’m feeling a little on edge and can’t help feeling like I’m missing something big. That something is happening or going to happen shortly, I just have no idea what. I repeatedly try to tell myself that the guys are okay and aren’t in any danger, but if that’s the case, why can’t I shake this feeling?
I finally manage to relax enough to close my eyes as sleep starts to drag me under until something hits my window, causing me to wake with a start.
I jump from my bed and head to the window, sure there will be something or someone out there. It sounded like someone hit the window with a rock or stone, and I want to prove to myself that it was just a strange dream that was starting to take hold. When I see nothing in the garden or down the street, it confirms I was dreaming, and I re-close the curtains before returning to bed.
I take a few deep breaths to calm myself enough to drop back off to sleep and am about to succeed when a piercing scream sounds through the house.
“MUMMY!”
I jump from the bed and rush to Luna's room as she screams again. I switch on the light and find her curled up in the corner of her bed underneath her duvet.
“What happened?” I demand as I pull the covers from her head. She is crying uncontrollably as she throws herself into my arms and buries her face against me.
“Someone was at my window!” she sobs loudly. I look up at her window as my heart races. Her curtains are closed, but with the moon shining so bright tonight, I can see the shadows from outside. I pull myself out of her arms and stand to head to the window.
“Mummy, no! They will get you!” she cries out as she grabs my hand. I shake my head and reluctantly pull my hand free.
“No one can get in, honey; I’m just going to look.” I walk over to the window, throw open the curtains and look into our small garden. I can’t see anyone or any sign that someone was there at all.
At the bottom of the garden, behind the fence, is an alleyway. There could be someone in there, I guess but there is no way of knowing for sure. But for now, the area seems empty.
“There’s no one there, Luna. I promise there is no one trying to get in.” I tell her in an attempt to reassure her. She shakes her head and looks at me with her tear-soaked face.
“There was Mummy they woke me up by knocking on the window.”
Is that what I heard before? Was it someone at Luna's window and not my own? It’s possible, I guess.
I walk over to the bed and pull Luna into my arms.
“Can I sleep with you tonight? I don’t want to be on my own.”
I nod my head as I lift her onto my hip.
“Of course you can, honey.” I start walking towards the door when she yells for me to stop. “What’s the matter?”
“I forgot my Loggie bear!”
I frown at her for a moment as she wiggles in my arms and I place her feet on the floor. She rushes back to the bed and grabs her bear from Logan. I smile as she grabs my hand and pulls me from the room. She has been inseparable from that bear since he gave it to her, and I know he will love the name she gave it.
As soon as we are in my room she jumps on the bed and wiggles under the duvet.
“Lock the door please, Mummy, I won’t sleep if it’s not locked.” I look to the bed and see her hugging the bear for dear life to her chest as she rests her chin on its head. She looks so scared I quickly do as she asks, hoping it will help her to relax.
