AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Rainier got one of the clothes nice and soapy. “Sit closer, Kitten. Let me wash you.”
“I can wash myself.”
“I know, but let me do it sometimes. I like taking care of my pets. The two-legged kind anyway. Inky would never get in the tub.”
Felix scooted closer. “Do you expect me to lick myself?”
“No!”
Rainier liked taking care of his bed buddies, although some lovers didn’t enjoy that. They wanted foreplay, sex, and cuddles but didn’t want to be taken care of in any other way. He supposed it simply wasn’t their thing, but for him, it brought a different level of enjoyment and intimacy. Sex was great, but it didn’t quite match up in that way.
Once Felix was clean and rinsed off, he got out, and Rainier stood on the seat to wrap a drying sheet around him.
“Go sit by the fire and dry your hair.”
Nights could be pleasantly cool, and Rainier had a tendency to get chilled so he often had a small fire in his room. He patted Felix’s bottom, and once he left the bathing room, he washed himself.
When he stood in front of the long looking glass by his basin afterward to comb his wet hair, he knew he needed to lose weight, but he couldn’t figure out if he truly had gained any lately. Mum acted like she knew if he did even though he didn’t sneak sweets and candy. Dried fruit didn’t count unless it was coated in honey glaze, and he didn’t eat that.
Fruit was fine unless it was too much, but a lot of anything would make a person chubby. Things like honey, cakes, brownies, and cookies were a definite no-no, and Mum wouldn’t touch such stuff. In his memory, she'd always been thin.
Mum said that having self-control was something that had to be worked on forever. It wasn’t a task that was finished and done afterward like when he’d learned to spell words as a child or finally grasped how to multiply.
How he wished he could be like Natalie who ate whatever and didn’t gain an ounce. Then again, that thought right there proved he had very little self-control. He’d be stuck carefully controlling what went into his body for the rest of his life. He’d probably never be skinny enough.
For a moment, he was tempted to see if he could throw up his dinner in the privy, but he hated vomiting, and after his sister, he didn’t want to go like that.
If he died from it, it would be blatant proof that he’d been trying to hide the evidence of his lack of restraint. Even in death, he’d be humiliated. Also, Felix would probably hear it and think he had some kind of illness. Rainier couldn’t scare his Kitten especially after he’d already had such a horrible experience that morning.
Besides, he didn’t want to leave Mum all alone even though he was a disappointment to her. It was his fault that Addy had died.
Chapter Six
Mum had always been strict about them not eating sweets and snacking between meals.
Father wasn’t so strict, but to keep the peace, he said nothing about it. In private, he let his children sneak snacks, and he’d buy them little sweets, but they had to eat it where Mum couldn’t see. It had been like that for all of Rainier’s life.
One of his favorite things to do was to sit on Father’s lap in his office and suck on honey swirls while Father showed him the ledger or requests and things from lords. Rainier would have to take care of that stuff when he was older, so he had to learn.
His other favorite thing was to sit on the wide swing in a corner of the garden with his sister while they shared a forbidden snack.
When he was twelve, Addy was thirteen, and her body started changing, although Rainier didn’t pay much attention. Despite Mum’s nagging and talks about self-control, he didn't think about weight.
One day, Addy made Rainier come into her room, and she started taking off her dress. She’d already loosened the laces in the back.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Hang on a minute.” Addy finally dropped it on the floor and pulled her shift closer to her body to make the outline more visible. “Do I look too big? Be honest and tell me if I do. Don't lie.”
He shrugged. What was too big? To him, she looked like any other thirteen-year-old girl, although he wasn’t used to seeing them in their shifts. “You pretty much look the same to me.”
“Mum said I’m getting fat, but I can’t tell if I look bigger or not. Do I look fat?”
Father was a rather hefty man, although he always said it was all muscle. Addy looked nothing like him in that way, and Rainier shrugged again. “I don’t think you’re fat at all.”
“Mum measured me for a dress, and she said I grew too many inches around in my waist, and my hips look plump.”
He wasn’t sure what she expected him to say or do. “You’re taller than me now, so doesn’t the rest of you have to grow?”
