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“Crown Princes don’t fart,” Rainier declared in his loftiest voice.
“That’s the biggest fib I’ve ever heard, and you did one night a couple of weeks ago in your sleep. It was a little one, but still!”
“I did no such thing. It must have been the wind you heard.”
“Yeah, the wind you let out under the blanket against my leg.”
They both dissolved into laughter and shook the bed so hard, Inky got up from near Rainier’s legs and jumped onto the floor.
“W-wait. Come back, In-Inky.” Felix could barely talk. “Actually, maybe it’s safer for you down there in case the wind blows again.”
“He’ll come back.”
Felix nestled against his chest. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone that the Crown Prince of Glasswood farted in his sleep.”
Since they calmed down and stopped jiggling the bed, Inky jumped back up, and he crawled onto Felix’s hip. Rainier’s was probably too fat. Felix told him he was a great hip warmer, and after a few minutes, his breathing grew deep and even as he slept. His warmth was so good under the blanket, and Rainier wished he didn’t get chilled so easily.
He lived in a Kingdom where it was always spring. Even if the nights grew cooler, he was pretty sure other people never got cold with a fire in the room, a blanket, and a warm body against them.
His stomach growled again as if announcing how weak he was. Felix slept on, and Inky got off of his hip so he could settle on the human’s pillow instead.
“That’s right,” Rainier whispered to him. “You keep watch over our favorite human.”
Inky sniffed at Felix’s hair and laid his head down to sleep.
Rainier’s stomach continued gnawing on itself while he struggled to achieve what his two bedmates had. He thought about going to the kitchen for something because the salad and stew were long gone. He had avoided the chicken and ate the libby leaves and corn from it as slowly as possible while he talked with Mum about mundane matters.
Maybe if he ate something small, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Just a tiny little bit of food from the kitchen so his gut would calm down. But he didn’t want to disturb Felix who had an arm over him.
He tried to force himself to sleep again for a good fifteen minutes. Felix shifted and rolled onto his back but didn’t wake up.
Well, Rainier could get up now as long as he was careful, but he should sleep. If he simply kept his eyes closed, it would happen.
He hurried into the kitchen a few minutes later with his cloak around him, and he took the lantern from the work counter so he could see in the pantry.
Everything felt like it was too much. The pastries the servants ate glistened with honey under their glass dome. The loaf of bread was plump like him, and if he put butter or norben on it, he might as well go find a farmer and get in the pen with his pigs or join a field of mookies.
The nibs he had in the room were for Felix’s treats, and he never allowed himself to even think about eating one. He didn’t dare look at the cacao on the shelf either because he’d want a whole handful.
Why was he even here? He was too big for any of this, and likely all sorts of fruits and vegetables were in the cellar, but even that would plump him up more. He couldn’t eat any snack without getting fat. He forced himself out of the panty and leaned on the work counter as his stomach whined for food.
Why couldn’t he be like Felix or Natalie? Maybe a few bites of apple would work and not add yet more padding to his bones. Perhaps Mum wouldn’t know tomorrow.
The problem was that he’d want the whole thing, and he couldn’t finish an entire apple. He shouldn’t waste part of it either. He needed to fucking control himself. Mum was right about him. Gritting his teeth, he went to fetch a cup, and he scooped water from a bucket in the corner.
Three cups worth seemed to help his stomach a little, although it created a new sort of discomfort, and he was surprised he didn’t slosh when he moved. He forced himself back upstairs.
When he got back into bed, he draped an arm over Felix. At least his sweet human didn’t seem to mind if he was chubby.
***
Lunch had barely put a dent in the hollowness of his gut the next day, but he told himself he’d never get up for food again at night. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t actually eaten anything. The fact that he’d gone down there proved his weakness.
After he finished work in the office, he was too excited to think about food because he had somewhere to take Felix. He’d asked a servant about it and was already planning it in his head.
As he was heading up the stairs, he heard a voice from below, and he paused. The court physician came hurrying up with his leather satchel.
“Your Majesty, I almost didn’t recognize you. Are you all right?”
