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“Why? You can’t fix me.”
“You agreed to come here.”
“Yeah, so I can get away from home for a bit. Listen, if you want, you can go back to Pierced Pretties and not worry about me. This was probably a bad idea from the start, and you shouldn’t have to worry about my problems.”
“You agreed last night.”
“Because I like spending time with you,” said Rainier. “I missed you a lot, but it’s not fair to dump this on you. I’m supposed to take care of you, not the other way around.”
Felix folded his arms. “You can’t take care of me the way you are now.”
Guilt immediately pinched his gut when Rainier’s face tightened. “Then go.”
“Or maybe you couldlet metake care of you,” said Felix. “I missed you too, and I decided to come back because I wanted to. I could have said no to Natalie, and what was she going to do even if she is a Princess? Beat me up?”
Actually, she probably would have.
“She got me because she cares about you, and I came because I care about you. Even though I’m technically a whore you paid for six months of fun, you weren’t just some random fuck to me. I liked making you happy and just being with you.”
“I like taking care of you, and I should be the one doing that. A dominant should care for the submissive outside of bed too.”
“Where does it say the submissive can’t care for the dominant if they need it?” demanded Felix. “It doesn’t have to be one-sided, and even in bed, both are taking care of the needs of the other. If you’re not used to someone taking care of you, you could give it a try. I don’t entirely understand what’s going on or how to help you, but if you tell me what happened with Addy and you, I can try.”
***
The Queen was the main problem in Felix’s eyes.
No wonder Rainier never ate in front of Felix except for when he had no other choice. Felix wouldn’t enjoy it either if his Mother constantly nagged him about his weight and “lack” of self-control.
What he didn’t understand was how the Queen was so thin, and yet, she hounded her son who was now thinner. She had some warped view of others, and that led to a set of expectations that were impossible to live up to. She couldn’t even keep her mouth shut and butt out of his bedroom life since she believed he had a gross bestiality kink. That baffled Felix too because what they’d done was nothing like that.
Worse, she was responsible for Addy’s death. Felix was sure that if he had shown any signs of ill health as a teenager, Mother wouldn’t have simply asked him in private what was wrong and left him be if he said nothing. She’d have forced him to see a physician.
Rainier seemed to think Addy’s death was all his fault.
“Are you trying to punish yourself?” asked Felix.
“No…”
Maybe he didn’t think he was, but it rather seemed like that to Felix. He’d finally poured everything out, and Felix realized this was probably the first time he’d ever actually spoken of it.
He said Mum hadn’t talked to him for weeks after Addy’s death. She’d plopped the majority of the blame on him and didn’t seem to have taken much responsibility. Also, she must have forgotten that her son was young at the time. How could he have known Addy would die? He hadn’t had any life experience to compare the situation to and no one to talk to about it besides Addy herself. She hadn’t been willing to stop for Rainier and must have thought she’d be fine.
Even once Rainier and his Mum started speaking again, she’d already done the damage. He’d been carrying around that weight in his mind for years and blaming himself.
With the Queen having court once he was older, he must have spent a lot of time pretending everything was fine while he restricted his food. The servants kept to themselves, and Lance hadn’t cared. Some of his comments now made sense to Felix. Since the two had gone out together, Lance must have soon noticed that Rainier never ate food.
And once Rainier was thinner than typical for a man of his height and build, his Mum still wasn’t satisfied.
“You can’t win, can you?” asked Felix. “It doesn’t matter what you do.”
Rainier shrugged as he set his empty cup on the bedside table. “Perhaps if I was thin and was able to give up all kink while married to someone she approved of, maybe I could.”
That sounded miserable.
“She thinks I’ll get fat and die of a heart attack like Father,” said Rainier. “And then I’ll leave her entirely alone. She’d have Aunty and Natalie, but it’s not the same.”
“You can die from being too skinny,” said Felix.
