AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The scrambled eggs and toasted bread with norben shouldn’t have been a lot, but when Rainer sat, he could barely look at it. Energy or not, how was he supposed to deal with this and eat like everyone else again?
“Aren’t you tired of being tired?” Felix prodded him.
“I’m more scared of gaining weight.”
Felix poked at his eggs with his fork. “I guess I’m not going to be able to get a meal in you every couple of hours even if it’s small, am I?”
“No.” Dear Elira, Rainier couldn’t imagine having a fucking meal every two hours. He might as well find a pigpen to live in.
“Would you at least eat a snack along with some juice?” asked Felix. “Maybe if we get you used to having a bit more in general, it’ll be easier. Dinner will be something more normal-sized. A slice of toasted bread for breakfast and lunch, and as a morning and afternoon snack should be manageable, right?”
It wasn’t like Felix was going to stop trying to get him to eat. For a second, Rainier was so irritated, he wanted to dump the contents of his plate in the fire and go back to bed even if he didn’t sleep. It wasn’t going to get easier because eating more meant he’d get fat. Fuck all of the food.
But Felix was trying to meet him part of the way instead of attempting to force down every bite of some big meal that he couldn’t face.
“One slice of the bread and the juice,” said Felix. “I’d rather you eat both slices, but if you can only do one, that’s fine.”
A single slice of toasted bread technically wasn’t even half of the plate.
“All right.”
Even though it wasn’t much, he managed to make it last until Felix had finished his breakfast. He took Rainier’s plate and finished it off.
Rainier forced himself to drink his juice and told himself to hurry it up. It didn’t need chewing, it slid down pretty easily, and the faster he got it over with, the better. He set the glass down as Felix stacked their plates.
“Finish it all.”
A sip remained, and Rainier remembered Mum saying only poor people or those with no self-control finished all of their meal. The juice was a drink, but the concept remained. She never quite finished all of her wine either, despite it being watered down.
“Come on,” prodded Felix.
He made himself drain it, and Felix picked up the dishes. “Why don’t you go sit outback? I noticed a couple of rocking chairs tucked against the wall this morning and brushed them off because they had cobwebs. You can’t sit and not worry about a spinny climbing up your leg.”
“All right.”
The sun felt nice while he gently rocked himself, although it still wasn’t quite enough to take away the cold like one might think. The yard had grown up quite a bit, and he could barely make out what was supposed to be the actual flower beds along the fence since glass plants and grass were battling for supremacy all over. Gold roses had sprouted from a bush that had seen better days but was still fighting to live.
Felix came out after a while and pushed the other chair closer before he sat and took Rainier’s hand.
“I know you probably think I’m being an asshole, but I just want you to get better and be happy.”
“I know, Felix. I’m sorry for being so difficult.”
“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do this to yourself. Not really.”
Rainier closed his eyes, tipped his head back, and kept his hand clasped with Felix’s warm one. It was still strange to think of Mum abusing him and Addy. The words were so foreign.
It was also completely at odds with the nice version of her when he was little. He had plenty of good memories with her back then. But as a child, he’d also pretty much done as he was told and didn’t start showing real self-direction until he was older.
“I like this,” said Felix.
“What?”
“Just us being together and pretty much doing nothing.”
The words tumbled out before Rainier could overthink them. “Do you still want to do this in fifty years?”
“Yes, but you gotta get healthy first.”
