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She shook her head. “I had a seizure last night.”
He sucked in a breath. “What happened? Tell me everything. Saoirse, do you need me to come back? I can be on the next plane.”
“No, no. It’s fine. I’ve dealt with the seizures for a long time. They’re under control.”
“Baby, clearly not.”
“It was just one. I took my secondary medication today like I’m supposed to after a seizure. I’m okay.”
Sutter’s eyes flicked over her face. He shook his head. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
“Not second thoughts, just…” She rubbed her free hand over her face. “Maybe… this has all happened really fast. Maybe I’m getting too dependent on you.”
Sutter was silent for a long moment. His eyes reddened and he looked up at the ceiling, out of the phone screen’s frame. When his eyes dropped to meet hers, they glittered. “I don’t want to do anything that would hurt your health, Saoirse. That’s always the most important thing. I need you to be safe and healthy and happy. So, if you’re telling me that you’re so stressed about the idea of moving to New York that you’re having seizures, I’ll back off. Tell me what you need, baby.”
Her Little burst through the door in her mind, yelling, waving her arms over her head. The words burst out of her mouth. “I need my Daddy.”
A tear trembled on his lashes before streaking down his cheek. “I need my baby.”
“I’m just afraid,” Saoirse admitted.
“So am I, darlin’. So am I. I’m afraid of pushing you too hard and hurting you. I’m afraid of you changing your mind about us. I’m afraid of losing you. You know what I’m not afraid of? I’m not afraid of showing you how much I care. I will do anything for you, Saoirse. Anything. If you need me to back off, I’ll back off. If you need me to wait a few weeks or months, I’ll wait for you. If you need me to get on the next plane and fly out to you, I’ll be on the first flight I can get. Whatever you need. Just tell me.”
She blinked through her own tears. Of all the outcomes she’d worried over through the day—that he’d be angry, that he’d be disappointed in her, that he’d rescind his offer to live with him—telling her he’d do anything she needed wasn’t one of them.
“Anything?” she squeaked.
He nodded firmly. “Anything.”
“Anything and a cradle?”
He barked a small laugh. “Anything and a cradle.”
“I need you to meet me at LaGuardia in six days, Daddy.”
He closed his eyes in relief, then rubbed his fingers across his eyes. “Thank God, baby. Damn, I haven’t cried since the night before my first semester finals freshman year when I was sure I was going to be the first James to flunk out of college.” He wiped his eyes again. “Tell me what to do if you have a seizure. What are the signs? What should I watch for?”
She explained the warning signs and how she’d known it was coming on, when she should take her secondary meds and when she couldn’t, and how to keep her safe during the event itself. Sutter nodded along and Saoirse could see him repeating each step to himself, his lips moving silently.
“What do I do afterwards? Do I call an ambulance?”
She shook her head. “Not unless I’ve bitten my tongue or am having trouble breathing. I usually just need to clean up and sleep for a few hours.”
“Do you need a hug from Daddy or should I leave you alone to sleep?”
Fresh tears popped, stinging, into her eyes. “A hug from Daddy,” she whispered.
“And I wasn’t there to give you one last night.”
“That’s what hurt the most,” she admitted.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. Are you sure you don’t want me to come back?”
“No, that’s not fair on you. It’s only six more days.”
“Promise me that if you have another seizure, you’ll call me straight away. I hate that this has been weighing on you all day and I didn’t even know you were hurting.”
The last bit of tension and worry drained away. He somehow understood her overactive mind. “I should have sent you a text this morning. I just didn’t want to disturb you when I know you’re busy.”
