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I wipe my eyes.
No more fucking around. No more mistakes. We learn the last three spells. We study and practice and prepare. We fucking crush our exams. We face my Da and fix the future. We find Jade’s killer. We exchange our vows and live happily ever after.
We do it together.
I unroll the Acta.
The effect of the stairs isn’t always obvious. I didn’t know the ninth stair would turn flesh and blood to stone until Darwin’s hand turned to marble in mine. The tenth stair’s the same. There’s no reaching into the Earth’s heart. There’s just a long chant that I start reading through.
As I’m reaching the end of the chant, the lights go. More than a flicker. The room goes dark for a moment, lit only by the dim, winter twilight filtering through the dome above. I blink at the scroll that’s become a mosaic of light and dark blotches. Seriously?
The lights flicker on again. A whiff of cloves and linen tickles my nose. Gabe must be back.
I lift my head, expecting my boys to walk through the Special Collections door.
It stays closed.
My arm’s stretched in front of me, holding open the Acta. As I watch, the small hairs on my forearm rise.
“Gabe,” I whisper.
“Baby girl.”
My breath catches in my chest. A tear rolls hot down my cheek. I know that voice and it’s not the voice of the boy who strolled out of here a few minutes ago, tucked under Darwin’s arm, demanding they go down into town because the campus store is out of pork rinds. It’s deeper. Out of a man’s broader chest. Roughened with a year of grief.
“Gabe, Gabe, are you here?”
He doesn’t answer.
“I’m okay,” I say hurriedly, hoping he can still hear me. “I made it back to my own Time. I’m with my-Gabe and Charlie and Darwin. We’re all together. We’re safe ... I miss you so much.”
“Teddy,” the deep voice says in my ear. “You’re not safe. Be careful.”
I look around but there’s nothing but the reading tables and chairs, the stacks stretching into darkness, the flickering witchlight.
I sniff and dash away the tear. “I will be. I promise. Baby boy, are you okay? Is Darwin okay?”
Nothing but the pounding of my heart in my ears answers me.
I scrub my eyes with the sleeve of my jumper and breathe shallowly until my breathing evens out. At least he knows I made it back to my own Time. But there’s so much more I wanted to say to my future-husbands.
I should have saidI love you. Why don’t I ever tell my lads I love them until it’s too late?
I whip out my phone and text our group chat.
I love you lads.
Charlie: I love you more. Send nudes.
I laugh even though my eyes are still blurred with tears.
Then I pull up my jumper, tee, and sports bra, snap a picture of my partially exposed underboob, and send it.
Darwin: Nakedness in the library? For shame. We’re on the way back. Be more naked by the time we get there.
Gabe: No, we’re not. We’re finding fucking pork rinds.
Chuckling, I tuck my phone back into my bag-o-many-pockets, wipe my face one last time, and go back to the Acta.
