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“Maybe I’d feel that way if I hadn’t broken my bloodline,” I say. “But I don’t.”
“No one’s trying to push you into including her in your life, baby girl,” Gabe says, rubbing the balls of my feet. “We just don’t want you to be sorry you’ve missed this chance.”
“Am I doin’ wrong?” I ask him. “Am I bein’ heartless or sommat?”
The boys exchange glances.
Charlie squeezes my shoulder. “No, bean. You owe her nowt. If you’re not interested in meeting with her, don’t.”
“If it was you, Chaz? Would you?”
He scrubs the back of his neck with his other hand.
“I can’t answer that, Ted. I can’t imagine my life without mum and dad. But I also can’t imagine them abandoning me the way your mum did.” He glances at Darwin. “The way both your mums did. I owe you an apology, Dar. I shouldn’ta said what I did. I’m sorry.”
I glance between the boys. Charlie’s bright red. Darwin’s got his head bowed, those strands of hair falling in his face and making him look so young. I try to think back through what Charlie’s said to Darwin. I can’t think of anything about his mum.
“Chaz, what did you say?”
“It wasbefore,” Darwin mutters. “Before we got together. Before we lost you. Before you came back. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Charlie slides his hand down and cups his big palm over our entwined fingers. “It does matter. After the first night Dar crashed with us ... after he touched Gabe like he did ... it didn’t sit right with me. I had this ball of anger burning in my chest that wouldn’t go away. I tracked him down, landed a few shots, and said he was such a fucking monster no one would ever love him. Even his mum had left him because she could see what kind of monster he was. I had no business sayin’ any of that. I said it to hurt you, Dar, ‘cause you’d hurt Gabe. Not ‘cause it’s true. I’m sorry.”
Fuck, no wonder there’s been so much distance between Darwin and Charlie.
“You never told me that, Chaz. I thought we didn’t keep secrets.”
Charlie crunches over to press a kiss to the top of my head. “You never told us what you did to get back at Dar—the Veyron and whatever you did to his warehouse. I figured this fell into the same category. If we didn’t know, we couldn’t grass each other up accidentally.”
“Fair point,” I concede. “But no more, yeah?”
He squeezes our joined hands. “No more.”
Chapter61
Dying, Dying, Dying
The boys don’t make any further effort to convince me to meet with Harriet and her new family.
They do, however, mount an argument when I tell them I’m going back to Bevington.
“No,” Darwin growls, standing up from his chair, scattering scone crumbs. “You said we’d do this together. You promised.”
I hold his burning eyes. “I keep my promises. We will do this together. But I need to read those last two stairs. Without turnin’ you to fucking stone. Lords said he had my back.” I wave my hand at where Lords is leaning in the doorway to the library, watching the argument with a small smile but not contributing anything. “He comes back to Bevvy with me. I learn the last two stairs. We’re back here for noon to confront Da. You spend some quality time with your sisters.”
Charlie, who has pulled me up onto his lap as the argument’s heated up, coils his arms around my ribs and presses his forehead into the back of my neck. “You don’t have to do this, Ted.”
“Yes, I do. What I don’t have to do is kill him, and I’m not gonna. I’m gonna break his bloodline.”
Gabe twists to look up at me. “You already did.”
“I brokemine. I’m going to break his. No brothers. No sons. No one who owes him loyalty. He stands alone for the rest of his life.”
At least, I hope like hell that’s what one of those last two stairs will do in my hands. Without the days of preparation and the expensive components.
Without nearly killing me.
Silence falls over the room. Callan, who arrived with Lords when the crow returned from delivering the scroll to my ex-father, crosses his arms over his chest. “I’d like to accompany you.”
