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I turn to look at Darwin and Gabe with eyes that I try to keep from being desperate.
Without hesitation, they both nod.
Chapter2
Broken Bridges
We’ve fallen into a pattern, my husbands and me.
I study in the cave all day. Gabe brings me meals. Darwin does whatever Darwin does. They bring me back to the houseboat for dinner, walking hand-in-hand down the canal because the one time Gabe tried to fly me, I passed out from the pressure of his Air-magic. We spend the evenings on the houseboat together, talking, reading, playing games. Darwin kisses me goodnight and goes wherever he goes. Gabe and I turn in for a night of platonic snuggles. I spend the night trying not to disturb Gabe with my worried tossing and turning; Gabe clings to me all night like he doesn’t believe I’ll be there when he wakes up.
Tonight, we all break the pattern.
Darwin excuses himself after dinner and disappears. Instead of picking up the book we’ve been reading together, I lobby Gabe into taking a walk along the canal. Gabe can see right through me and knows I want to go back to the cave. He chucks me under the chin, kisses me, and gets out coats since the nights are cold even though climate change has given Wales a very mild autumn.
The evening air nips at my nose and fingers as we walk with two of my fae bodyguards trailing us. There’s little sound other than our footsteps, the lap of the water against the canal’s stone sides, and the rustle of the trees. Gabe folds my hands in his and blows to warm them. There’s no touch of Air.
I think he’s figured out what Darwin hasn’t, because Gabe’s careful not to use magic around me. Darwin’s half-fae and his blood runs with magic even when he’s not drawing on his Element. I blamed my-Darwin for constantly trying to glamor me. Having been around future-Darwin for a week, I realize it’s largely unintentional. Whenever he’s uncertain or stressed, his fae nature pushes forward to solve the problem with glamor.
When we near my cave, I give Gabe innocent eyes. He laughs. “You want to keep reading?”
“I want to take a look at what Callan was reading. About the dream bridge.”
“Okay. For an hour.”
I nod eagerly. I could push back. I’ve established in both Times that I’m good with the boys being sexually dominant but, outside the bedroom, I make my own decisions. But I don’t push. He’s loving on me as much as he can. As much as I’ll let him.
This visit has been different. Difficult. Despite Gabe being his usual, wonderful self, I can’t enjoy this time with him. I’m panicking about getting back to my boys. I can’t even accept sexual comfort. It’s too strange when I’ve just started something with Darwin in my Time, but still haven’t had sex with either him or Charlie. If I responded to future-Darwin’s gentle advances, I’d feel like I was cheating on them. And it’s cruel to sleep with one of my husbands and deny the other.
I tried, haltingly and probably incomprehensibly, to explain this to them the first night on the houseboat. Gabe pulled me into his lap, kissed my forehead, and told me it didn’t matter if we never had sex again. He’d always love me; he’d always be there for me.
Darwin kissed my forehead and disappeared.
Gabe sighed and tried to explain. “Sex is a big thing for him. He never got physical affection before he came to school. It made him desperate ... and predatory. I don’t know what he’s like in your Time.”
“Same,” I confirmed.
“He’s gotten better since Bevvy,” Gabe said. “It took him a long time to accept that we wouldn’t withhold sex to control him. But even after all these years, rejection triggers him.”
My heart, which I thought was already cracked wide open for Darwin, broke a little more.
“Can you explain to him? Can you tell him it’s not him? It’s me. I’m all messed about in the head. Will he understand?”
“I’ll try, Teddy. But it’s not only you. It’s him. It’s me. It’s us. Neither of us should expect anything from you. We’re not the men you’re in love with. You don’t owe us a damn thing.”
I hugged him tight. “This time-travel thing’s really fucked, innit?”
“It is. But we’ll straighten it out. We’ll get you back to your own Time, baby girl. That’s what’s important.”
The Gabe of my Time and this-Gabe may not be the same man, but they’re both equally wonderful.
Which is why Gabe now, smiling tolerantly, follows me into the cave.
Before we even reach the main room, we hear raised voices.
“—stop forcing me to see her, father. I broke the handfasting. It’s done.”
That’s Darwin. And he does not sound happy.
