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“Uh, do I get a vote?” I ask.
“No, you have a safe word,” Darwin says, his face still mushed in a pillow.
“She doesn’t, actually,” Gabe says. “Well, ‘fucking stop or I’ll castrate you’ might be considered a safe word, but otherwise, no.”
Darwin lifts his head over my shoulder to peer at Gabe. “Why doesn’t she have a safe word?”
Gabe strokes my hair as he responds, “Teddy’s very clear about what she does and doesn’t want, and she doesn’t have any problem communicating. Until Charlie spanked her, we hadn’t done any punishment scenes, so pain limit wasn’t an issue. We check in with each other constantly. I figured she’d tell me or I’d notice if she was getting overwhelmed.”
Darwin props himself up on one elbow and runs a hand through his adorably rumpled hair. “I’m not comfortable playing without a safe word. Maybe you two know each other well enough that you don’t need one. Teddy would also forgive you if you pushed her beyond a limit. I’m not ready to take that risk.”
I roll over to face him. Nose-to-nose, his breath smells like raspberries and tequila. Who knew fae had raspberry morning breath? His eyes are huge with sleep and the beginnings of arousal, inky circles with a ring of gleaming silver.
“Your breath smells like raspberries,” I tell him.
He slides down to pillow his head on his elbow, his mouth twisting wryly. “That’s relevant to your safe word, how?”
“It’s not. I like raspberries. That’s all.”
“Teddy, I think you should have a safe word.”
“Because you think I wouldn’t forgive you if you pushed me beyond my limits?”
He swallows, his throat working. He traces my cheek with a shaky finger. “Would you?”
“I’d like to think so. I told you, I’m not afraid of you anymore. I know you wouldn’t deliberately hurt me, and I’d stop you from hurting me unintentionally.”
He cups my cheek. “Teddy bear, there are ... things I’d like to do with you where you wouldn’t be able to stop me. If you’re saying that you don’t want to play in ways where you couldn’t check me physically, I’ll accept that. I understand there are limitations you might want to put on play with me.”
I lean in and nip his chin. “I told you last night I was yours to do whatever you want with. If you want to tie me up or sommat, I’m game. I liked it when Gabe and Charlie held me down or tangled me up in my clothes. If it’s going to worry you so much you won’t enjoy our games, then gimme a safe word. I don’t want you to be afraid while we’re shagging. That’s no fun.”
“I just don’t want to fuck up,” he whispers.
I bite him again.
“Ow.”
“Whinger. You’ll fuck up. I’ll fuck up—”
“We’ll all fuck up,” Gabe sing-songs.
I reach back and pinch his ear. “Shurrup, you. You can’t live in fear of fucking up, Dar. The important thing is caring enough to make things right.”
Darwin reaches for me and I let him tuck me tightly against his body.
“I’d like you to have a safe word for a while,” he murmurs into my hair. “Redif you need me to stop what I’m doing. Whatever it is. I need you to be able to pull the plug. We can revisit it in a few weeks and if you don’t want it anymore, we can talk about it. I just need a safety net for now.”
I stroke his back, feeling the fine tremor running through his muscles. Ironically, it reassures me. He wouldn’t be wound so tight if he wasn’t deeply invested.
“Hey,” I whisper gently before slipping a kiss across his mouth. “It’s okay.”
He smiles, but it’s shy and shaky. “Now that it’s here, I’m hesitating. That’s ridiculous, isn’t it? This is all I’ve wanted for months. What I’ve dreamed about whenever I’ve been able to sleep.”
“That’s why you’re hesitating,” Gabe says gently, reaching across me and stroking Darwin’s shoulder. “You’ve built it up too much in your mind. This is Teddy. She’s not gonna judge you. You and I have been together hundreds of times. There’s no pressure.”
Darwin’s eyes lift from mine to look at Gabe. “Are we ... going to be together this time?”
“If you’re okay with vanilla sex. I’m not ready to have you top me yet.”
