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Radulf frowned. “She’s not?”
“I told you I had a lot to tell you. Sit down, and let me tell you. It may just change your mind about… everything.”
My brother seemed hesitant, but he had been searching for answers all this time, and I had some for him. I could see it in his eyes, on his face, and he had said it a moment ago. He had lost hope, and I couldn’t blame him. Gullie had Melina. I had Valerian. My grandmothers had each other. Radulf was alone, all alone, and had been all this time.
Even though I had been chased, hunted down, and attacked, I felt like my brother had suffered far worse than I had.
He needed a moment to think after I explained everything to him. He wasn’t angry, or upset. Despite everything, he still didn’t blame me for what I had done, and for that I was grateful. He had every right to blame me, to hate me for what happened. He didn’t. He also couldn’t believe I had been through… well, all of it.
Run out of his village, transported to Earth and back, then my grandmothers, Lysa and the hunters. It was a lot for him to process, considering he had spent the better part of a year in solitude, growing Fae wine on top of a mountain, surrounded by Frost Giants and endless snow. My brother was strong, the strongest person I knew, but he thrived in the company of others.
Wolves were not meant to live alone. This had hurt him, maybe more than he cared to admit. I knew I had to be delicate with him, coax him back into the fray, re-ignite his hope. I had no idea how I was going to do that, but I figured telling him everything was a good place to start.
Radulf took to the edge of the mountain to think after he and I were done talking. Gullie had decided to take a nap in a bundle of furs. I, meanwhile, went over to Valerian who stood overlooking the Winter Kingdom. From up here, we could see Windhelm, its once brilliant, shimmering walls now turned dark and dull, sucking the light in from around them instead of reflecting it outward like a beacon.
“He seems… nice,” said Valerian.
“He is nice,” I said. I shook my head. “He also may be right.”
“Right?” Valerian turned to me, strands of his silvery hair whipping around the back of his head. “About what?”
“We have so little time left… we still haven’t heard from my grandmothers, and Windhelm… I mean, look at it.”
“It’s sad to see it like this.”
“For us. For everyone else, it’s normal. We’re the only ones who care, the only ones who can care.”
“And we should, because it’s the right thing to do.”
“It’s also going to get us killed.”
“We are headed towards that inevitability regardless. You know that, right?”
“Death?” I shook my head. “It’s not inevitable. Malys put a deal on the table, remember?”
“Malys is lying. She’s lying now just as she lied to you the first time. Whatever she told you she can do for you, she won’t.”
“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt for my sakes. I don’t want anyone to die for me. I would rather just let her do whatever she wants to me if it means the people I care about won’t be hunted down anymore. If it means they can just live their lives.”
“What makes you think they will have that luxury even if you did give Malys what she wanted from you?”
“I don’t know. But it’s better than this, isn’t it? It has to be.”
Valerian took a deep breath, then he reached for my hand, and my heart started instantly racing.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I know you hate yourself for what you did,” he said. “I know you blame yourself for all of this, for putting everyone through this torment. You made a choice, long ago, that you thought was right for you. In your position, I would have done the same. We all would have. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, no one I have come across in our travels has once said they hate you or wish you hadn’t done what you did. Least of all me.”
“Maybe not outwardly.”
“No. At all.” He took my other hand in his. “When I first met you, I wanted nothing to do with you.”
“I wish I could say that’s news to me, but it really isn’t.”
