Page 19 of Darkdream


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“What do you mean, you feasted on Evan’s fear?”

“I survive on the fear of humans. It’s why I bring them nightmares.” He’s speaking slowly, as if I’m a child.

But I’m not, and the more my memory comes back, the angrier I get. Not only did he trap me, he fucking used me for his own ends.

I shake my head. Will I ever stop repeating this pattern with selfish men?

“You told me those dreams were for me. So I could get revenge on Evan. But really, you just used me to find his deepest fears. I was just a means to an end for you. A way to find a tasty new snack.”

“You know that isn’t true.”

“Do I?” I laugh, a slightly hysterical note. “I don’t know anything about you.”

His charcoal features harden, his silvery eyes going flat. “You do know me. You know exactly who and what I am: The King of Nightmares. A monster and a friend. Your lover. I didn’t use you. I gave you what you wanted—access to Evan Dempsey’s dreams, so you could repay him for some of the pain he caused you. We both got something out of it, just as we did in our other dreams together.”

Oh, God. The sex dreams. They may have been in my subconscious, but they were real.Callisteris real, both in my dreams and in this world. He’s some sort of sexy, shapeshifting nightmare god. I shake my head, denying his words. “You took advantage of me.”

He stands taller, clearly offended. “I did no such thing! You consented to—or initiated—our encounters.”

“Not consciously! They were just dreams! Dreams aren’t real to humans.”

He shrugs. “That’s humanity’s flaw, not mine. I was drawn to you by your fear, yes, but I came back because I wanted to help you. Because I…care about you. A human. That’s never happened before.” He looks unsettled by the idea, but I have no sympathy. We’re both fucking unsettled.

“Why would you care about helping me? You don’t even know me. Not really. I’m just a toy for you to use and toss away. Or feed on when you need a quick bite.”

He cocks a dark brow. “I know you better than you think. Better than you know yourself. That’s the advantage of inhabiting dreams. Besides, there’s something about you. Something different. You call to me.”

“Like a siren?” I ask, raising a matching brow at him.

He shakes his head, but he doesn’t deny it.

I sigh. I remember talking about this with him in one of my dreams. “Maybe I need to finally accept it as my truth. Iama siren, at least partly. It’s why people like my baking. Why men have mistreated me most of my life. Why Evan was interested in me in the first place. And what called to you, I guess. It has nothing to do withwhoI am. It’s all aboutwhatI am, apparently. Or more specifically, what my long-lost ancestors were.”

He shakes his head. “No. I mean, yes, that’s probably what initially caught my interest. But that alone would not have been enough to sustain it. In general, I’m not particularly interested in humans. But there’s something special about you, and it has nothing to do with your lineage. It has to do with your personality. I’m attracted to you foryou.”

He sounds genuine, and a little out of his depth. I guess it’s not surprising. From what I’ve observed in the dreams, he doesn’t have much experience with human emotions beyond fear. Professing his interest in me is probably difficult; he’s trying to identify and articulate emotions he’s never faced before.

And I admit, we have incredible chemistry. Even more intense than what I had with Evan. I could—and maybe do—have genuine feelings for Callister. But that doesn’t change what he did. That he trapped me in his Nightmare Realm and used me to feed his need for fear. Even if he thought I was there willingly, I was unconscious and in no condition to make that kind of decision, something he’s incapable of understanding.

“I need to eat and get real sleep,” I tell him. “The kind that actually results in rest, so I can do some thinking about this whole situation. I think you should go. Don’t visit me when I’m asleep.”

“Very well. When should I return?”

I sigh, my eyes filling with tears. I’m exhausted and hungry and angry and I don’t want to have this conversation anymore. “You don’t understand. Whether you meant to or not, you used me. You hurt me, both physically and mentally, just like Evan did. I need some space to figure things out.”

He frowns. “You think I am like that man who abused you?”

“Youfedon me like some kind of fear vampire. You exploited my trauma. And you left me sleeping here, left my body to rot.” I swipe away a tear. “I sure as fuck think that sounds like abuse.”

He looks taken aback. “But I was protecting you. Keeping you safe. Giving you what you wanted. Your body was safe here. And were you not happy in the dreams? Pleased to pay Evan back for what he did? Enjoying the pleasure I gave you?”

“None of that was real!”

“Yes, it was!” he snaps. “In my reality, it all happened. Real is a relative concept.”

“It wasn’t real to me. Or to Evan.” I shake my head. He doesn’t get it. He’s not capable of understanding. “I don’t think you hurt on purpose the way Evan did,” I finally say. “But the result feels the same.”

“And this means you no longer wish to spend time with me? To visit my realm?”

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