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Do I have the fortitude to relive that night? I might not reveal all of the details, but my father needs me as his alibi, and I won’t fail him. I can’t.
“Look at her,” Bennett says, his voice like the crack of a whip. When my father’s skin pales, the lawyer continues. “Do you see the way she’s looking? Her final moments were spent staring up at her attacker. Do you see how her eyes are lifeless but even in death the terror remains?”
The ruthless interrogation of the prosecutor continues. And if it wasn’t damaging my father, I’d think it a thing of beauty. Bennett’s words are like daggers, employed with merciless precision while drawing blood with every sentence. Not enough to kill, but to slowly weaken and main. And then there’s his body language. His forceful energy permeating the room like a fog, making it hard for me to see a favorable outcome.
His voice commands my attention, causing my panic to slowly subside.
I pull in a large breath through my nose and blow it out through my mouth to continue ridding my body of the anxiety pummeling it from within. The last thing my father needs is for me to have a panic attack in the middle of the court hearing. Although I might lose my fucking mind if he’s declared guilty.
I’d definitely blame Bennett for that.
I shift my gaze to the lawyer, his words a low rumble that my brain refuses to translate. Mentally, I’ve checked out and no longer want to hear the things he’s saying about my father. It’s torture.
Except watching Bennett is a different kind of agony.
A sweet longing that I wish didn’t exist.
He walks to stand in front of the jury, his tone more insistent, more passionate than I’ve ever heard. It sparks something in me. Something I’ve never experienced, even with my fiancé.
Desire.
I groan at the memory, in both frustration and arousal. Hayden took up permanent residence in my mind that day, and I’m ashamed to admit that he never left. It’s more accurate to say that I never got rid of him.
Even when my dislike for him grew throughout the trial.
But now? I’m not sure whether or not I still despise him for his past transgressions. Is Harper right in saying that Bennett was just doing his job in the courtroom and I’ve been over-sensitive on that front? Or is my intuition right when it comes to him?
Hayden is a conundrum.
He’s violent, but he uses that violence to protect me. Until he walked into my life again, I didn’t realize I’d been missing that security. Sure, I experienced it with my father growing up, but it was never to the level of intensity that Hayden showed.
Does sexual attraction heighten the effect? Or do I feel this way because of the man himself?
I have no answers. The only thing I know is that, for whatever reason, this man makes me feel safe even though I shouldn’t. And his displays of violence don’t shock or frighten me.
They seduce me.
Chapter13
Hayden
I retrievemy cell phone from my pocket and the screen flares to life, illuminating the interior of my car. After a few keystrokes, the inside of Calista’s apartment appears, the cameras allowing me to watch her closely.
I installed them the same day I found out about her hiring that private investigator. My rationale for my actions was to blame it on my need to keep her safe. In truth, it’s the only way I can be near her without giving in to the temptation to do more. Regardless, over the past month, my fortitude has started to crack like the stones of an ancient church.
Except there’s no redemption to be found for the sins I wish to commit.
She draws my gaze with her simple movements, each one sensual and enticing. I swear the woman could merely put lipstick on, and I’d be ready to thrust my cock between her lips, if only to stain my skin with the rosy hue. I shake my head at my wayward thoughts.
This always happens when I’m around Calista.
She kicks off her heels and removes my coat, her breasts nearly spilling from her shirt. I’m graced with the view of her delectable body in that revealing outfit. I wouldn’t care if she always dressed that way, as long as I was the only one to see it. She takes things a step further and removes her clothes until she’s standing in nothing except her bra and underwear.
It’s a matching set of light pink, the color feminine, innocent, and sweet like her.
I suck in a breath and hold a fist to my mouth, nearly biting my hand to keep from groaning aloud. It’s better than I imagined. Her body is a temple I want to be inside and worship until the rapture comes.
Then I’ll go straight to hell.
