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Regardless of my confusion concerning Hayden, I find myself torn between wanting him and giving into the urge to run away. Especially from this conversation.
“Given your physical state,” he says, “I assume your father took you to a hospital?”
I release a breath, which does nothing to calm my racing pulse. My moral compass won’t allow me to lie to Hayden, but I’m ashamed to admit that I’m not above concealing certain details. Lies by omission.
The deadliest kind. They don’t need to be believable.
Just silent.
“I was looked over by a medical professional,” I say.
“I see,” he says. “What hospital was it?”
“Do you really need to know? The details are irrelevant. The exam consisted of nothing except routine care and my discharge the same night.”
His lips thin with displeasure. “I want to know everything about you, Callie. No matter how insignificant you think something is, chances are it’s meaningful to me.”
“Why? This is supposed to be about my father, not me.”
“It’s all connected.”
I frown, unable to conceal my skepticism. This man is digging into every aspect of my life, and I don’t believe all of it will help him understand my father’s case. There’s a hunger in Hayden’s eyes that is deeper, fiercer than what he gives voice to.
Unfortunately, so is my need to keep this information secret.
“If I give you the name of the location, can I leave with the money and your promise to move on from this topic?” I ask.
Hayden watches me, remaining perfectly still. In those seconds, I nearly fracture under his intense stare. My pulse ratchets up, the speed so swift that I place a hand on my breast to keep my heart from escaping my ribcage.
His gaze zips to my chest. And lingers. It sweeps over me like a phantom caress.
Despite the ugliness of the topic, my skin breaks into a flush with his eyes on me. How can I be aroused and on the cusp of a panic attack simultaneously? Hayden not only perplexes me, but he’s confused my body as well.
“I can’t agree to that,” he says. “I need to know everything.”
If it were any other subject, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him. However, revealing this secret won’t just hurt me and force me to relive the horrific event again. It could unlock the things in my mind that I’ve repressed.
I can’t risk it.
“There’s nothing else to discuss,” I say, my words thin and airy, a struggle to get out.
Hayden narrows his gaze, and I flinch. “Tell me about the bruises,” he says. “I’m assuming your father took the picture as evidence, then covered up the details of your attack for political reasons, but that doesn’t tell me what I want to know.” He leans forward, and his gaze narrows. “Who hurt you?”
The idea of Hayden discovering the sordid details of that night has my body taking over. Adrenaline surges, igniting a panic that has me feeling like my chest is in a vise, each breath causing the pressure to increase until I’m panting. I squeeze my eyes shut and take deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating, but it’s no use.
“I can’t do this.”
“I have to know,” Hayden says, his tone more forceful. “Who put their fucking hands on you? I want a name.”
My eyes fly open at the unadulterated anger in his voice. For the first time in this interrogation, Hayden’s showing emotion. And it’s strong. His gaze bores into mine, the blue glittering with malice and his body taut with tension lining every muscle.
I get to my feet despite my shaking legs. Shame heats my skin and pricks my eyes with tears, and I blink furiously to keep them from falling. “Take your money and leave me alone.”
“Who are you trying to protect?” he asks. He stands and plants his hands on the desk, leaning toward me. “Is it your father or yourself?”
My need to escape takes over, and I spin around, bolting for the door. I’m an idiot for thinking I could negotiate with someone like Hayden. His intention to uncover the events in my past is like a disease, and he won’t stop until he’s infected the healthy parts of me.
And worsened the parts that are still sick.
