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“I said they do. I didn’t say you should,” I clarified flirtatiously.
“Oh, and why shouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know. What if there’s an emergency or something?” I explained.
“An emergency? Like what?”
“What if someone needs to see you in the shower? How would they do that if the door’s locked?” I asked as my body washed in heat.
“I guess they would have to ask. All they would need to do is ask,” he said staring down into my eyes.
I swallowed wondering if this was going to be it. It had been hard not to think about our kiss every moment since it happened. But I had had the grand opening to distract me. After that, I had been whisked away on a private jet to Paris. Now, all of that was behind me. In front of me was Remy with his sparkling eyes and his soft pink lips.
“We should grab something to eat,” I told him calling on all of my self-restraint.
As much as I wanted him, and that was a lot, I couldn’t forget that he wasn’t mine. Whether he wanted to be or not, he was engaged and I didn’t want to be that person. I didn’t want to be his afterthought.
“Are you hungry?” Remy asked loosening his grip on me.
“Yeah,” I said feeling him pull away and immediately wondering if I had made a mistake not kissing him.
“I know the perfect place,” he said gesturing for me to get up. “Did you want to shower first?” he asked with a smirk.
“I should,” I told him standing.
“And will that bathroom door be unlocked,” he asked suggestively.
Pantomiming locking a door, I turned and walked away. I have no idea why I did that. Sure, I thought it would be funny since I mentioned what I had about Americans. But the last thing I wanted him to think was that he wouldn’t be welcome in my shower.
Or would he be? I asked myself as I retreated to my room and entered the attached private bath. Undressing, I stared into the wide oval mirror that curved towards me on either end. I stared at my lean body naked. Pushing my hand across my chest, I imagined what Remy’s large hands would look like contrasted to my tan skin.
It made me hard. Taking hold of my cock I squeezed imagining it was Remy doing it. My head fell back from pleasure.
With my eyes closed I pictured Remy leaning down and kissing my lips. He was gentle but assertive. And when I opened my mouth, his tongue entered.
Standing behind me naked, I could feel his large cock. It would be even bigger than what I had seen when I had walked in on him when I was a kid. And testing my opening, he would slide in as if I were made for him.
Stroking my cock, I imagined Remy doing it as he fucked me. I groaned from the pleasure. He was so big. Everything about him made me feel so small.
Lifting me in the air, my legs would fold back around his. And losing myself to the rhythm of his thrusts, he would fuck me harder and harder until he I exploded.
“Ahh,” I moaned, hearing the tone echoed back to me in the large, sparse room.
Catching my breath, I leaned forward, bracing myself on the sink. My mind was crackling. I wanted desperately to bury myself in his arms. But as the real world returned to me, my reality reemerged.
Opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was myself in the mirror. The yearning boy looking back at me made me sad. For so long, no one had loved him. He had had hookups with guys in college, but he had never been more than a warm body to them.
There had only ever been two people who had claimed to care more. But past Hil and my mother, no one did. I could get lost in the streets of Paris and never return, and only two people would ever miss me.
Looking down at the trails of my pleasure, I quickly cleaned it up and headed to the freestanding tub with its attached hand shower. As the water worked its way through my thick curls to my scalp, I reconsidered what I had just thought.
Could I disappear and never come back? That might have been true before yesterday, but I had just opened the community center. Was it true anymore?
As the warm water layered my body, I thought about what would happen if I disappeared and never returned to the center. Yes, I had put in place everyone necessary to run it without me, but I still had responsibilities. People were depending on me. Whether or not I returned, mattered.
I let that thought roll around in my mind. It was a new way of looking at myself. For so long, I didn’t matter to anybody. Not even the person I thought was my father cared if I lived. But that wasn’t true anymore. I was needed… and it felt good.
Remy had given me this. The job, the clothes, the luxury apartment, none of it compared to this gift. And he probably didn’t even know what he had done.
