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She toes her shoes off where her feet hang off the edge of the bed, and we both wiggle up to the headboard.
“He wanted to go down on me. I mean, he did go down on me. But it was . . .”
When the silence hangs, I try to guess. “It wasn’t good?”
“I don’t know,” she admits. “Do you know how long it’s been since a man has gone down on me?” She winces. “Sorry. I should remember who I’m talking to.”
“It’s okay,” I say, and grab her hand and pull it into my lap, patting it. “How long has it been?”
Emma thinks for a minute and then shakes her head. “I honestly don’t remember the last time Bruce did that. Years. He never did like it anyway.”
I laugh. “It’s been a long time for me too, so my memory might be a little hazy. But I don’t remember Kit being all that good at it. I mean, we were so young everything was just rolled up with enthusiasm. And after Zoe was born, there were a lot of quickies as we could catch them.”
“What about some of the guys you’ve dated recently?”
“I think we either never got to that part or skipped the foreplay.” My mind goes to Chris. Would he skip the foreplay?
“You should never skip the foreplay,” Jade interrupts as the door to the bathroom swings open. She’s wrapped her hair up in a towel and has a T-shirt and shorts on for sleeping. “Emma,” she says, eyebrow raising in surprise. “Is everything okay?”
The door to the hallway opens, and Tessa joins us. Before she can say anything, Jade waves a hand. “Come on, we’re getting the scoop on what’s-his-name.”
“Oh,” Tessa says, sitting at the foot of the bed and giving Emma’s bare foot a squeeze. “Are you going to see him again?”
Emma shakes her head hard. “Definitely not.” She recaps the story for Jade and Tessa. “I basically just ran out of his apartment, and he probably thinks there’s something wrong with me.”
“Why did you run out?” Jade asks.
“Because it was embarrassing. I wasn’t expecting that!”
“What?” Jade asks, her brow wrinkling.
“I wasn’t expecting him to put his mouth down there! I just thought . . . I don’t know! I couldn’t stop thinking about how it had been a few hours since I’d showered and I had just peed at the bar and I haven’t done any upkeep down there because, obviously, I wasn’t planning to go home with a guy and . . .” Her voice chokes off, and she wipes a stray tear from her left cheek. “I guess I’m just not ready yet.”
“Hey,” Tessa coos. “That’s okay. It’s all taking steps and trying something new, right?”
“Emma, babe, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you.” Jade sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, the skin under her teeth turning white as she worries it.
“You didn’t pressure me. Really. I thought I wanted it at the bar, but when he was actually . . . you know . . . I just couldn’t turn my brain off and enjoy it.”
“You definitely have to be in the right headspace for it,” Tessa says. “A bit of confidence goes a long way.”
Emma sits up, wiping her eyes and giving us a wobbly smile. “It gets better, right?”
And even though none of us have been in Emma’s exact scenario—or anyone else’s, for that matter—we all agree with her vehemently.
Because it has to get better.
11
Chris
There’sa knock on my bedroom door, and based on the light filtering through the blinds, it’s morning. Very morning. Like so morning, I usually see this kind of light when I’m going to bed.
“Chris?” Sara’s voice comes through the door. “Someone’s here to see you.” Sara got back from Rome two days ago. For someone I don’t actually see much at all, I missed having her in the house.
That jerks me up and out of bed. Not many people know where I am, and a visit from those who do can’t be a good thing. I flashback to last year when Ram overdosed at a party, and Marcus had to find the rest of us, one by one, throughout the night.
“I’m up,” I say to Sara and check my phone. No messages giving me any kind of clue who this might be.
