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“Come on,” he says instead. “I’ll introduce you to the rest of the band. Just don’t judge them too hard right now because we all have our pre-performance rituals.”
Chris introduces me to the two members I don’t know. I barely get a glance from June, but the drummer, Ram, is enthusiastic and happy, whacking his thigh with drumsticks and grinning like a golden retriever puppy.
Zoe wanders over after Alwin makes some excuse and slips out the door, and then the three of us go to the stage, and Chris shows us where we can stand to watch.
“What about you?” I ask. “What are your pre-performance rituals?”
“It’s all taken care of,” he says vaguely.
“What is it?” Zoe says, eyes widening with excitement. “Is it illegal?”
“No,” Chris says, laughing. “It’s not like that.”
“So then, why won’t you tell us?” I ask, and poke him in the side, right where I know he’s ticklish. Zoe almost looks horrified until she raises a finger experimentally.
Chris, bless his heart, lets Zoe poke him.
“Fine, you broke me. I eat a hot dog.”
“You eat a hot dog?” I say, mystified. “Why didn’t you want to tell us that?”
“Well, you’ve had me eating vegan for like three weeks. It felt weird to eat one of those cheap shit hot dogs where you wonder what parts of what animals actually went into it. And I used to smoke a cigarette too.”
“What do you put on your hot dog?” Zoe asks the important questions.
“Ketchup.”
“Huh,” she says, clearly disappointed.
On the other side of the black curtain, the general noises of a crowd have been swelling, and our volume increases too. A woman dressed in black taps Chris’s shoulder and whispers into his ear.
“It’s time,” he says. “Stay here, have fun, and enjoy the show.”
Zoe grips my arm and squeals while Chris looks at me with longing, like, “I wish I could kiss you right now.” But he leaves, and I’m left with my very excited daughter.
She pulls out her phone and holds it up, tugging me closer for a selfie. I smile, and Zoe types away at her phone. Mine buzzes, and it’s the photo in a group chat with Jade, Emma, and Tessa.
Zoe
We’re backstage!
Jade
Hot damn.
Tessa
Have fun!
I think Emma’s studying tonight, so I’m not surprised when she doesn’t respond right away.
Zoe and I stay closer together and watch the final adjustments of the gear. Then the band files out, taking their places on the stage. By some signal I miss, the lights in the entire stadium go out and the noise of the crowd swells.
When Zoe grabs my hand, I weave my fingers through hers and am nearly blinded when the lights go on. The curtain’s gone, and flames shoot up the stage as Verduistering launches into their first song.
It’s loud and rough and entirely in German, so I have no idea what’s happening, but Zoe jumps and dances, and before long, I do too.
Chris is on the opposite side of the stage, but it means he’s facing me. Watching him is fascinating—of course, I’d watched videos of him playing concerts, but just like all music, it’s more magnetic in person.
