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Chapter Eighteen
“Zeven?” She stroked his face mere inches from her own. “What are we going to do?” Bringing it up after the amazing sex they’d just had felt wrong. The world shouldn’t be able to intrude like that. They should have a little peace before having to make hard decisions. Unfortunately, they didn’t have time to put off this talk. “Is there any chance at all that we could tell them about being mates and it would stop the attempts on my life?”
“Normally, it should work, but I don’t think it will. Something about this whole situation doesn’t make sense. The original incident was just random violence. They claimed that you’d threatened them, but you didn’t. And even if you had, they should have been able to handle taking you out on their own.”
“Why would they bother to lie about it?”
“I honestly can’t figure out what their purpose is. But until they reach that unknown goal, I’m positive that they won’t give up.” His soft words held a hard truth.
A truth she didn’t want to think about. “I know you’re probably right. I just wish there were some other option.”
He sat up, rubbing a hand over his short hair. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but there is only one way to stop men like these.”
The easiest way out of the situation was also the one she thought could possibly destroy their future. All she had to do was hide out for a few days and let him do his thing and trust him to be the killer he had become. She didn’t even have to ask him to take on this duty. He would do so willingly and believe fully that it was the right path.
Why couldn’t she take the coward’s way out this once? Then she could talk him into changing his ways afterward.
No, she already knew what had to change and why. Letting him do one last job for her convenience wasn't fair. And it set a bad precedent. If it was okay for this one circumstance, then any justification might be used later. This was a line in the sand moment. “I don’t want you to kill any more, not like this and not for me.”
“Harley…”
“No, I mean it.” She pressed against him, bringing her front against his back. What she asked wasn’t because she rejected who he was. She just wanted better for him now. She showed him the only way she knew how. “Zeven, I know you. I know you are only what you’ve had to be, but now you have a choice. This decision isn’t only about you. It includes me too. I have spent my life trying to protect people and heal them.”
His body went still. “You can’t heal me, Harley.”
She held on, refusing to let him put space between them. “Dammit, Zeven, you don’t need healed. You aren’t broken.”
“But you want me to change.”
She paused. This was dangerous ground. How could she explain that she loved him but hated what he did? More importantly how could she help him see there were other possibilities? Maybe rather than trying to force him to understand her demand, she could try to understand his reasoning. “Just tell me this… are you happy killing people? Do you enjoy it?”
His muscles tightened under her hands. “Could you accept me if I am? If I do?”
Could she? Could she live her life with a paid killer? If she was able to still be a doctor, how would she go to work every day knowing that for every person she saved, he’d be out there keeping the odds even. She’d never be able to make a real difference in the world. The best she could do was make up for his violence.
“You can’t accept me. You couldn’t back then, and you still can’t.” He stood up leaving her on the bed. A wave of his hand and clothing materialized, covering his body. She’d seen him use magic before, but this was different, sudden and meant to shock her. “I can’t hide who and what I am. Don’t you understand? I’ve always been a wolf and a hunter. Now I’m a killer and get paid for it. This is who I had to become. I couldn’t help it, I’m not sure I would have even if my life had been different.”
Damn, he was really upset. She jumped up and crossed to stand in front of him, which just happened to be between him and the door in case he intended to storm out. Bare-assed naked, she planted herself and crossed her arms. “But if you could walk away from it all, right now, today. Would you?”
His gaze bore into her. “It’s not that simple.”
“Why not. I don’t blame you for your past. But we have our whole future to consider. Can’t an assassin quit? Retire?”
“If I said no, would you leave me?”
She wanted to say that she’d stick by him no matter what, but was that completely true? “I don’t know. I want to make it work, but I don’t know how I would feel knowing you were out killing people.” She paced away from him, trying to sort it out in her head. “I mean how would that work? Could we have a home someplace where I could be a doctor? Would you just take business trips to handle the…what do they call them? Targets? Would you come home at night or just between jobs? And what about if we ever had children…what would you tell them?”
“Harley…”
She moved closer, almost bringing them skin to skin. “These are the questions, Zeven. Together we need to find some answers.”
He grabbed her and pulled her hard against his chest. “What would you have me be? This is all I know. I don’t have any other skills. I kill people, Harl. It’s what I’m good at.” The words could have been angry but instead they were quiet and desperate.
“I… know.” Her voice caught and turned to a sob. Shit. “I don’t want to lose you. I love you too much to let anything come between us.” She wiped her face. There had to be some way to sort this out. “You know it’s pretty silly to be worrying about your job, when there is still a chance one or both of us won’t make it to see next week anyhow.”
He cupped her jaw, forcing her to meet his gaze. “I won’t let that happen. If you trust nothing else, trust that I am good at what I do, and you will not be hurt by these people.”
“But you can’t just go in and kill them. That idea even appeals to me at times but that’s exactly why there has to be another way.” And in his arms, held so safe the possibilities felt more promising.
