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Kolis was suddenly right before me, eather crackling in his eyes. “I am the King of Gods. You know that. It should be enough.”
He was out of his mind.
I held myself still, even as my heart hammered. “This is not helping.”
Several long, unsettling moments passed, then he stepped back. “You’re right.” The essence faded from around him. “I will give you time.”
I didn’t believe that. If he couldn’t understand the wrongness of his actions or chose not to, he wouldn’t respect my request for time. He wasn’t capable of doing so. And that wasn’t a justification or an excuse. It was the terrifying reality of who he was, whether he was all the beauty and gold of the embers he’d stolen or Death.
“I will give you time to feel more comfortable around me,” he continued. His shoulders bunched in my silence. “Say something.”
Go fuck yourself. I wanted to say that. Or I hope you die a slow, terrible death that lasts thousands of years, you sick motherfucker.
“Okay,” I forced out instead. “Thank you.”
“Good.” Some of the rigidness eased from him, and that well-practiced smile instantly returned as he placed his glass on the table. “Nyktos is coming out of stasis and should be in a position to be released in the next couple of days.”
There was no mistaking how he attempted to downplay what he’d done to Ash with his word choice. It wasn’t a change in position. It was a change in his health.
A demand to see what kind of state Ash was in rose to the tip of my tongue—one that would surely make things worse for Ash. Because I’d heard the struggle in Kolis’s voice when he reminded himself that there must always be balance. It was something he was very much capable of forgetting.
But it would also make things worse for me. Asking to see Ash before had…well, I knew how that had ended. A tremor went through me as Kolis adjusted the pitcher so the handle faced toward the chamber.
Kolis then turned to me. Several moments passed, then he looked upon me. My skin began to crawl as if a thousand spiders swarmed me.
“I am…sorry, so’lis,” he said, the skin twitching at the corner of his mouth. “For whatever distress I have caused you.”
I said nothing, only able to muster a nod of acknowledgment.
Kolis lifted his hand and cupped my cheek. I didn’t flinch. I didn’t move away as he drew his thumb over the fading bruise on my jaw. I didn’t don the veil of nothingness. This was different as he touched me. It was like I was here, but not. “What did I tell you about using the embers?”
I jolted, having forgotten all about that. I opened my mouth, but Kolis pressed his finger to the center of my lips, silencing me. “That was a rhetorical question, my dear.” He smiled, and it reminded me of suffocating, sweltering heat. “I felt the essence. I know it came from you. I warned you not to use it lest you wish to be punished.”
Every single part of me flashed hot with rage. I wanted to break the finger against my lips. Better yet, I wanted to bite it the fuck off. “I’m sorry. Callum—”
“I’m sure he provoked you. He can be quite vexing when he wants to be. But that is no excuse.” His fingers curled at my chin, tipping my head back as his lowered.
Heart stuttering, I locked up as his mouth neared mine. Panic snaked through me, tightening my chest and taking my breath. This was not giving me time. I desperately tried to empty my thoughts and erase who I was, who I wanted to be, and who I wanted.
His lips halted less than an inch from mine. “The essence does not belong to you. It is not yours to use.”
The embers throbbed in denial.
“And to be clear, this has nothing to do with what we discussed moments earlier,” Kolis said. “This will be your last warning, so’lis. Do not use the essence again.”
Kolis left then, and there was nothing but silence. Closing my eyes, I exhaled roughly as I made myself the same promise I had when it came to Callum. One way or another, I would see Kolis dead.
And I knew then that the moment Ash was free, if I didn’t escape, I would not live long—no matter how important the embers were. Because I would become Kolis’s worst fucking nightmare.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Sometime later, after several veiled Chosen cleaned the bathing area, I checked the wadded cloth to make sure the key was still in place.
It was.
Pressing my lips together, I returned it to its hiding spot before allowing myself to start thinking reckless things.
Then I paced until dinner was brought in, too restless to sit still. It was a larger meal, one containing two types of meat, vegetables, and glazed strawberries for dessert. I ate what I could and behaved myself while Callum oversaw the veiled Chosen as they removed the plates.
