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“You can try.” He flashed me a grin.
I ignored it. “Attes hates Kolis, and you have to know why—what Kolis did to him. To his children.”
Ash’s nostrils flared as he draped the last of my hair over my shoulder. “I know.”
“Then do you think Attes doesn’t want to see Kolis dealt with as badly as you do?”
His thick lashes lowered, shielding his gaze.
“And Attes did what Elias did,” I tossed out.
The skin at the corners of his eyes creased. “He swore his allegiance to you?”
“Yeah, even did the whole kneeling and speech thing.”
Some of the hardness left his features. “That’s…interesting.”
Rolling my eyes, I threw up my arms. “Attes has only done what Keella has, what you have. Survived while doing his best to prevent Kolis from getting what he wants,” I said. “And that is not just Sotoria. It’s the embers, too. He wants—or needs,” I corrected myself, “those embers.”
“So he can become a crazed, unstoppable monster?”
“Well, besides that. It’s the whole balance thing. Life has to be created to keep the realms stable, and what he’s doing to accomplish that is creating what he calls—”
“I know what he’s created. The Ascended,” he said, and surprise flickered through me. “The Revenants. He couldn’t shut the fuck up about them when he came to tell me about the…” Tendons stood out along his throat. “When he came to tell me that I would be set free once my anger was under control.”
I knew that wasn’t what he’d been about to say. It was when Kolis went to tell him about the deal. “Why did he even bring that up?”
“Because my uncle is a boastful fuck who takes his inability to create life like my father did personally and to the extreme.”
I nodded slowly, remembering how he’d reacted when he sensed that I didn’t believe he could create life. “Anyway, it won’t always work. He knows that. So does Kyn.”
Shadows pressed against Ash’s cheeks.
I quickly continued. “Kolis didn’t know he couldn’t Ascend me, but he still believed the whole thing would be dangerous. So, he planned to wait until I was in my Culling to take the embers. He didn’t know that I had already started my Ascension. And the only reason I can figure that it didn’t completely happen was because of what Kolis had Phanos do.”
His gaze sharpened. “What was that?”
I told him about the ceeren and their sacrifice, and I practically saw the wheels beginning to turn in his mind. “No.”
He frowned. “No to what?”
“I will not allow anyone else to give their life to extend mine. I know you’re thinking that.”
“Except it’s not just your life you’re extending, Sera. It’s thousands,” Ash countered. “Millions.”
My hands fisted at my sides. “But only temporarily. As long as the embers remain inside me, the Rot spreads and does more damage. And…”
Ash went still again. “And what?”
“And I’m…I’m almost out of time,” I admitted. I didn’t think he took another breath. “I’m dying.”
“No.”
“I’m dying, Ash.” As I spoke, I donned that veil. I hated doing it with him, but I didn’t want the calmness I’d found regarding what was coming to crack and for him to feel anything from me. It would already be hard enough for him. So, I emptied myself as much as I could. “You have to take the embers, and you need to do it soon. I don’t have long—”
“You don’t know that.” Shadows thickened beneath his flesh, quickly erasing the warmer hues of his skin.
“I do, and so do you.” I cupped his cheeks. His flesh was so icy now. “My mouth—”
