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“Then prove it,” I whispered.
His eyes flew open.
“Release Nyktos.”
The madly whirling eather stilled in his eyes. “And why in the fuck would I do that?”
“Because I asked you to.”
“Let me repeat myself.” His voice grew thick with fury, each word spat like a venom-tipped arrow. “Why in the fuck would I do that?” A muscle in his temple throbbed. “When your demand proves what’s so plainly visible on your hand and in your behavior.”
“I ask for his freedom because it doesn’t make sense for you to do so. He’s your enemy. My husband.” I lifted my chin at the low snarl coming from him, allowing myself to only feel a smidgen of fear. I could control that. My tone. Him. The eather. The learned instinct was like slipping on a gown that only felt a little too tight, and it was so obvious to me then that I hadn’t fully become nothing until right now. “My husband, whom I love but am not in love with. I wouldn’t do anything for him, but will you do anything for me?”
“I think that should be obvious,” he spat. “Considering I killed my brother to bring you back to life and then spent what has felt like eons searching for you.”
“But I don’t remember any of that.”
His nostrils flared. “Do you remember me not killing you after you stabbed me? Should that not be proof enough?”
“No.”
Kolis’s eyes went wide. “And why not?”
“Because not killing someone you love is the bare minimum. That’s not doing anything for them,” I told him, thinking this was something I’d never thought I would actually have to explain to someone. “No matter what you have to gain from their death.”
He snapped his jaw shut.
“But freeing Nyktos?” I picked up my glass and rose.
Kolis took a step back from me.
I could barely hide my smile. “That is something you don’t want to do, but you would be doing it simply to please me.”
“And why would that please you?”
“As I said, I love him. I don’t want to see any harm come to him,” I reasoned, more calmly than I’d ever done in my entire life. I crossed to the table and boldly turned my back on Kolis. “I don’t want to have to worry about him, and I will. And that has nothing to do with love.”
I picked up the decanter and pulled out the stopper. “He protected me, even before I became his Consort.” I filled a glass for myself and then poured Kolis one. Hopefully, he wouldn’t destroy this flute. “You’ve endangered me.”
“I have done no—”
“But you have.” Holding the glasses, I faced him. Kolis hadn’t moved from where he stood near the divan. “But you also didn’t know who I was. I didn’t either, not for a long time.” I offered him the glass.
He hesitated but then took it.
“Anyway, I don’t think I can fall in love with another if I’m worrying about the one I do love,” I said, taking a sip of the fruity water.
“And why would you be interested in…falling in love?” Kolis demanded, the hollows of his cheeks flushed.
“Because I’ve never known what it’s like to be in love and to be loved in return—” My voice cracked, as did the vessel I’d become. Closing my eyes, I turned my head and waited until the burn of the truth eased. The sting didn’t fade completely because what I’d said was true, and no matter how empty I made myself, I could still feel that agony. “I would like to know how that feels.”
There was silence, and then the air around me stirred. My heart skipped a beat as I opened my eyes.
Kolis stood less than a foot from me. “This feels like a manipulation,” he said. “But the pain I just witnessed was real.” A moment passed, then his voice lowered. “Why would you want to love me?”
Man, wasn’t that a damn good question? A very loaded one, with so many reasons why I could never, ever love him.
But Kolis didn’t want to hear that.
