AllFreeNovel
Share Us
At least when I first got here, he fucked me. As stupid as it sounds, it made me feel useful. Now he’s ignoring me. That’s my punishment.
Tick, tick, tick. The clock mocks me, and my watery eyes look up at it.Tick, tick, tick. Second by second, I sit here in a room and his is down the hall. I haven’t even been inside of it. I might as well be locked up in the basement. At least then, I’d know where I belong.
Tick, tick, tick. I get to my feet, pick up the chair that sits at the round table by the double doors to the balcony, and throw it at the fucking wall. It hits the clock, shattering it before it falls to the floor.
I’m breathing heavily, looking over the broken glass, and I realize I’m that clock. Broken. It’s just time that I quit trying to be a good girl. He’s made up his mind, and I have done the same. But him bringing me back had me second-guessing my decision four years ago. I need to get back to her. Fuck him and fuck this life. It doesn’t get any better.
I’ve always been a puppet. For him, for my mother, for the Lords. We’re just meant to be used. Sex makes you feel things. Another line my mother once told me. After I left Saint, I told myself that was a lie because the other guys I were with never made me feel what Saint had. She was right again.
Sighing, I walk away from the shattered clock and make my way to the bathroom. I need a bath, and then I’m going to find something to get high with. Or drunk. I need something, and I don’t care if Saint finds out or not.
* * *
I standout on the balcony, overlooking the dark night. It’s amazing how far you can see when there’s light but nowhere to look in the dark. The fact that I ever thought I’d have a life with a man who loved me for me and wanted me to give him children is stupid really. From the moment I was hidden here, I knew my life would never be the same, and I was an idiot to think it’d ever be anything different. Better.
We don’t all get the same chances in life. I was raised that we have the better life, but it was bullshit.
I hear my door open, and I don’t even bother to turn around and see who it is. I don’t have to. It could only be one person, and he’s the last one I want to see right now.
He remains silent as he walks out onto the balcony and comes to stand beside me. Placing his forearms on the railing, he leans over, overlooking the woods.
“What do you want, Haidyn?” I ask tightly. He’s done nothing but avoid me since I returned. I know why, and I get it, but why pretend now?
“I want to take you to dinner.”
I snort.
“I’m serious, Ashtyn.”
The sincerity in his voice has me facing him, and he does the same, turning toward me. I stare up into his dark blue eyes, and he reaches out his hand, his knuckles brushing the hair from my tear-streaked face. He doesn’t say anything, and I hold my breath when he leans forward and softly kisses my forehead.
“Get ready. We leave in thirty minutes.” With that, he turns and exits my room, giving me no chance to argue.
Maybe Saint left me behind for this very reason. To spend time with Haidyn. If Saint knew the truth about my past with his brother, that’s the last thing he would have done.
My hair is still damp from my recent bath so I quickly dry it and decide to put it up in a ponytail. Once done, I put on some foundation, blush, mascara, and gloss, calling it good. I’m walking out of my closet after getting dressed when my door opens promptly at eight thirty.
Haidyn enters and comes to a stop. He shoves his hand into the pockets of his black dress slacks as his eyes drop to my heels and run up over my exposed legs. They slowly rise to meet mine, and I nervously rub my sweaty hands on my thighs.
“Ready?” he asks.
I nod, turning to my nightstand. I go to grab my cell but pause. Why do I need it? Saint’s not going to contact me, and I already did my daily call with Jasmine. So I turn and head for the door as he follows me.
We make our way down the hallway and to the elevator. Silently, we ride down to the first floor. We pass Jessie as we exit the front double doors, and he stops to have a word with Haidyn, but they speak too quietly for me to hear what words they exchange.
Haidyn holds the door open for me, and I softly thank him as we step outside onto the porch. A black Escalade SUV is parked out front in the circle drive. A man stands at the back-seat door and opens it for me. We both thank him as we climb in.
It’s captain seat style on each side facing the center. I take the seat with my back to the driver. Haidyn sits across from me.
The car begins to move, and Haidyn pulls his cell from his suit jacket to text someone. My first thought is that it’s Saint. He’s telling him how bad I look. Or how mopey I’ve been since Saint left me.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. “Why are we here?” I blurt out in the silence.
He looks up at me from his phone. His fingers pause over the keys. “Because of our fathers—”
“I don’t mean life.” I interrupt him. “Right here. Right now.” He knows I’m not talking about the Lords. “Why are we going to dinner, Haidyn? You’ve avoided me since I’ve returned. Why the sudden interest?” I cross my arms over my chest.
His eyes are trained on mine, and I shift in my seat. The Spade brothers have a way of making you feel naked when you’re fully dressed. He drops his eyes to his phone and returns to texting. After a few seconds, he pockets his cell and looks back at me. “I wanted a better life for you.”
