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Fuck. Fuck some more. And then fuck again. Over and over until the body needs it in order to survive. It’s like oxygen. You breathe without having to even think about it. The need to have human contact in some capacity is the same. Those who go without wouldn’t understand it. Their bodies and brains don’t think the same as those who do. And that’s okay. But they’re missing out if you ask me.
I get up off the bed, leaving her tied there and listen to her heavy breathing fill the large room as she shakes uncontrollably.
Picking up her cell, I place it on her nightstand. Nothing is wrong with wanting sex. Or watching porn. It’s human nature. A natural instinct. Hell, even animals do it.
Sure, women are meant to be toys in our world, but that doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy it.
I get it. It’s not hard to see her world from a woman’s point of view. You show too much cleavage, you’re a slut. Don’t show enough, you’re a prude. You tell a guy no, you’re playing hard to get. You let him fuck you, you’re too easy.
Ashtyn was made to be mine. I’ve always felt that way about her. And any man would be lucky to have her. That’s why I’m going to take her. I saw her first and wanted her first. I’m in it for the long game. Even if that means I have to chain her up in my basement to keep her away from the world that seems to want to take her from me.
Her phone dings with another message, and I pick it up and read over it. Her mother again.
MOM: We’re going to discuss the vow ceremony. You need to understand the consequences of your actions, Ashtyn. My job as a mother is to prepare you for what’s to come.
Translation: they don’t think she’s a virgin and want to make sure she’s aware of what will happen to her when she doesn’t bleed for me.
I close the screen and place it back on the nightstand before sitting down next to her. She’s got her eyes closed, her breathing has evened out, and her body is relaxed. She’s passed out on me.
“Wake up, sweetheart.” I turn on the vibrator and push it between her open legs. She’s so wet it slides easily now, and I love the sound of her cries when her eyes spring open. Her hips immediately start to buck the best she can since I have her tied down as tightly as possible.
Her neck arches, and she sucks in a deep breath before a cry rips through the room.
We have a long night ahead of us.
ASHTYN
I feel worsetoday than when I woke up hungover yesterday. My body is fucking Jell-O. I have aftershocks from all the times Saint made me come yesterday and then again last night. I was so useless that we ate lunch and dinner in my bed.
When I woke up this morning, I was disappointed yet relieved that I was alone. I showered and got dressed. I didn’t do my hair or any makeup. I threw on some cotton shorts and a tank top and called it good. I managed to get through my classes at Barrington. Thankfully, I only have three today. I feel like a zombie. All I want to do is go home and pass the fuck out.
Who knew getting off so much would be this exhausting?
I sit in my mother’s therapist’s office, staring at nothing, when a hand hits my arm, making me jump. “What?” I ask.
“She asked you a question.” My mother growls at me.
“What?” I look at the therapist, who seems more annoyed today than usual.
“The vow ceremony is in three weeks. How do you feel about it?”
I shrug. “Not sure it matters. It’s happening no matter what.”
Her lips purse at my answer. “What about afterward?”
“When I’m no longer a virgin?” I arch a brow.
They’re setting me up to tell on myself. It’s only to save them from the embarrassment, and I won’t do it. If I don’t bleed, I at least want them to know what it feels like to be ashamed. They’re allowing me to be fucked in front of a crowd, so they might as well get secondhand embarrassment.
I’ve heard of women in the past having sex and breaking the rules on purpose. They want any other life than this one, and it’s their way out. But it only works if you’re given to a Spade brother. A chosen picked for the vow ceremony doesn’t have to be pure for her Lord. That’s why they dunk them in the baptism pool—to clean them of past sexual partners.
“I think…” She pauses, frowning. “You’re twenty-one, Ashtyn. You go out, party, get drunk. I think that maybe you experienced more than you are aware of.”
“Maybe you were raped,” my mother adds, nodding to herself.
I run a hand down my face. “Mom…”
“It’s happened, Ashtyn. Women go out, get drunk, and wake up the next day with no memory of what happened.”
