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I press the end of the brand to her pelvic bone. It’s the longest five seconds of my life even though I know she’s out. I’ve branded plenty of people in the past few years, but I hate to have to do it to her. The smell of burning flesh fills the room.
I remove the brand and look over the reddened 666 that will forever be there because of me. Because of our life.
I toss the brand to the side and turn to face the mirror. I can’t see them, but I can feel all of their narrowed eyes on us. They’re mad that we sedated her. Fuck them!
Walking over, I flip the switch, turn off the intercom system and go back over to her. They just wanted to hear her scream. It was all about torturing her. Forcing her to give what Carnage requires—your soul. Your fucking life. She’ll forever belong to it. And me.
“Call Devin,” I order Haidyn. “Tell him to meet me in my room.” She needs to be looked at anyway for what Tyson and Miles did her to earlier this evening.
“On it.” He pulls out his phone, and I rip the tape off her mouth, unwrapping it from around her head, pulling her hair and skin. Prying her mouth open, I remove the mouthguard.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I say even though she can’t hear me. I really am. She didn’t deserve this, and when I find Adam, I’m going to fucking take my time killing his ass.
I undo the buckle over her chest. I yank off the ones that pin her legs down. I take the blanket that I had her covered in and place it over her and then pick her up, not even bothering with the straitjacket. I’ll take it off when I get her back to my room.
* * *
I’m lyingin my bed with the TV on but muted. She lies next to me, naked. Devin came and saw her as soon as I got her back to the room. He placed some ointment on her brand and bandaged it up. Her neck was fine. Nothing too serious and it didn’t need stitches. A bandage was all it needed.
She’s been in and out for the last few hours now. Haidyn has come by to see her, but I still haven’t spoken to Kashton. He’s mad at me for the decision I made, but what did he expect? Did he truly think I was going to hand her over to our fathers? To this hell? I stand by my decision. A Lord does what needs to be done.
Ashtyn begins to stir, and I watch her heavy eyes open and then close. Reaching up, her hand goes to her neck, and I grab her wrist. “It’s just a bandage, sweetheart.”
Her eyes spring open at my voice, and pretty blue eyes meet mine. She stiffens next to me, and I let go of her wrist to cup her cheek. She flinches, and my chest tightens. “Ash, I’m—” I stop myself from saying I’m sorry because I’m not. I’d brand her five more times if I need to if that meant I got to keep her.
She stares at me unblinkingly as they start to fill with unshed tears. My eyes lower to her chest, and her skin is still red and irritated from the straitjacket. I can’t help myself and run my knuckles over her soft nipple to watch it harden at my touch. I’m not going to fuck her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. I always want her. Always have. I think she’s experienced enough pain for one day.
“W-hy?” she asks in her soft voice.
I watch the first tear fall out the corner of her eye. “I had a choice to make.” That’s my only answer.
She swallows and closes her heavy eyes, forcing another tear to fall free. When she looks up at me this time, I cup her cheek, and she pulls away, sitting up and pushing her back into the headboard.
I sit up as well and cup her face with both of my hands, not allowing her to pull away. “I love you, Ash.”
“No,” she whimpers, gently shaking her head. Her bottom lip starts to tremble when she sucks in a deep breath. She’s not 100 percent herself yet. The drugs are still in her system, so it’s going to fuck with her emotions for a few more hours. Plus, given the day she’s had…
“Yes.” I nod. “I’ve been in love with you.” She sniffs, and I run my thumb over her parted lips. “And when forced to choose—keep you or let you go—I will hurt you before I live a life without you.”
Her wide eyes swim in tears before they spill over her bottom lashes, falling down her face. She doesn’t have to love me. I don’t need that kind of acceptance from her.
I know that makes me a bastard. The villain in her story. It sounds like I’m heartless and cold. And I might be, but I sure as fuck don’t care.
Letting go of her face, I get up out of bed and walk over to the edge she sits on. “Come on, sweetheart.” I pick her up in my arms, and I’m surprised she doesn’t fight me. Instead, she buries her head into my shirt, and her cries fill the room while I carry her into the bathroom. I’m going to bathe my girl. Get all the adhesive off her face from the tape and wash her body free of the lining of the straitjacket. Then I’m going to put her back in my bed where she will stay for the rest of her life.
TWENTY-FIVE
ASHTYN
It’s been two days since Haidyn choked me out and helped Saint place me in a straitjacket for him to brand me.
I woke up confused hours later back in his bedroom naked and feeling drowsy. I cried a lot. Then Saint gave me a bath. While he bathed me, Saint explained that Haidyn had knocked me out and Devin had dressed it with cream and a bandage. He took it off for my bath and put on a new one afterward. I have a fresh one on now. I haven’t seen it nor do I want to.
They branded me. A part of me no longer feels anything. My family is dead, my life just …gone. What else is there to do?
Rolling over in Saint’s bed, I stare at the empty spot next to me. He wasn’t here when I woke up this morning. It’s not the first time this has happened, but he didn’t leave me any information as to where he’s at, and I don’t have a phone. Mine was ruined when it got placed in a flower vase and something tells me I’m not going to get a new one. Everyone that I’m allowed to talk to is here. Why would I need to reach the outside world? I’m dead.
A knock on the door has me sitting up, the movement making me flinch as the bandage pinches my skin over the brand. “Yeah?” I call out, and my voice cracks. I haven’t said much in the last two days. Saint keeps feeding me pain pills that either make me sleep or drowsy. He’s bathed me the previous two nights, brought me food, and keeps me in bed. Says I need to relax and let the brand heal. Devin comes in to check on me and changes the bandage. My neck looks better and no longer needs one.
