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He’s right.If I hand myself over to them, they can protect me, but it still won’t be enough. Three guys can’t save me from an army of men. They’ll destroy me. Rip me apart. All I have are the Spade brothers. My mother is dead, my brother left me here, and my father…who knows where the fuck that bastard is. And the baby…I can’t leave its life to chance like that. It deserves a better life than I was ever offered. It won’t survive in this hell. And even if it did, they’d never let me see it or be a part of its life. And I refuse to let them be punished for my actions. If they tried to protect me, they’d be in trouble. I’m not worth that.
I place my hand in my front pocket and feel the keys as fresh tears run down my face. At least I had one person on my side. That’s all I needed. A chance.
“Don’t make a sound,” a voice whispers in my ear, making me whimper. “Or you’re dead.”
I inhale sharply through my runny nose. “Can you do that?”
After I nod quickly, he removes his hand from my mouth, and I suck in a deep breath. He takes my hand, and I feel something placed in it. I close my fist around the keys and let out a sob, my shoulders shaking.
“Good luck,” he whispers, and I swallow the lump in my throat.
I can do this. It just means leaving everything I love behind. But nothing lasts forever. My world teaches you that at a young age. You can’t sell sweet dreams to those who constantly live in nightmares.
Taking in a deep breath, I hold my hair back and slowly peek around the corner again just as Saint walks into one of the rooms. I push off the wall and keep running, needing to get as far away from them as possible. I expect to hear his cell ringing any second with Kashton giving him my location away.
Shoving open a door at the end of the hall, I ignore the loud bang it gives off from hitting the interior wall of the stairwell and run down three flights of stairs to the first floor. No one is down here this time of night. The morgue is the last place anyone wants to be. It smells of death and reeks of formaldehyde. I have avoided it at all costs the past few weeks but desperate times call for desperate measures and all that.
Carnage is a city of terror. A prison that you cannot escape, not even in death. It collects your soul and demands your mind. Trap a person for long enough, and they begin to believe their only purpose is to serve. It’s like a hamster running on a wheel—you never get anywhere.
I swallow down the vomit that rises and wipe the tears from my face with my bloody hands. Making my way down the hall, I see anEXITsign hanging from the ceiling, and I let out a cry of relief.
So close.
I turn the corner and come to a stop. My tennis shoes squeak on the floor. My stomach sinks, and my body begins to shake when a set of green eyes land on me.
“Noooo.” How did he beat me down here? He must have taken the elevator.
Just seeing him is making this harder than it already was. I wanted my last memory of him to be of us in his bed earlier this evening. His lips on mine and his hands in my hair while he called me his good little whore. Afterward, he passed out with me in his arms and his cum running out of my pussy. I’m still wet from it.
I whimper, taking a step back.
Saint’s steps match mine, stepping toward me. His six-foot-five frame towers over my five-five. “What in the fuck are you doing, Ash?” he snaps, making me flinch. “What—?” His eyes drop to my bloody clothes. “Jesus!” He hisses, raising his hands to run through his disheveled dark hair. I did that to him when his head was between my legs before he fucked me.
I left him two hours ago. It’s now three in the morning. No doubt he was woken up tocollectme. “Who the fuck did this to you?” His voice echoes down the hall.
“Shh.” My lips tremble.
“Are you fucking serious?” he demands. Reaching out for me, he grabs my upper arm and yanks me to him. His clothes now covered in the blood from mine. “Everyone is fucking looking for you. You’re lucky I’m the one who found you.” He drags me back down the hall, letting me know that he has no clue Kashton had found me first upstairs.
“No, please … Saint—”
He spins me around, shoving my back into the concrete wall and steps into me once more, pinning me in place. His large, muscular body vibrates with his anger that I’m not doing as I’ve been told. “Where do you think you’re going to go? You can’t escape—”
“I have to try.” I interrupt him.
He lets go of me and takes a step back. “You’re serious?” His dark brows crease. “You’re going to risk your life to leave here?” His voice softens. “To leave me?”
I swallow the knot in my throat but don’t respond. I can’t. I hate this. Our life. Deciding to leave here was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but I have no choice. The Lords always make sure you’re backed into a corner. They live to test you, and if you fail, you’re dead anyway.
I could tell him the truth, but I know what he’s hiding from me. It’s a lose-lose situation. I won’t be the one who gets him in trouble, so I’ll just remove myself from the situation.
He quickly looks me up and down. “I’m going to kill whoever the fuck touched you, Ash. But you’ve lost your goddamn mind if you think I’m letting you leave me.”
Come with me.Those words come to mind, but I can’t make my lips work. Saint will never leave Carnage. This is his home. His world. His future. I’m just a girl he’s fucked. A Lord never picks pussy over his title. No matter that we haven’t already made promises to one another. I knew I’d break mine one day.
I wrap my arms around myself. Not sure why I suddenly need to protect myself. Not from him. Saint is one that I know would never hurt me. Not to inflict harm. Do I allow him to do some fucked-up shit to my body? Yes. But I love it. He’d never torture me for his own pleasure. He’s protected me and saved me from the worst. But I’m no longer safe. He’s no longer my biggest threat in this hell.
He reaches out, his knuckles running down my tear-streaked face. I must look awful because I feel like shit. The action so simple, delicate. It makes me rethink my entire plan to leave him behind. “Sweetheart—"
