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A laugh escapes my lips. I feel manic, like a ticking time bomb. The littlest thing will set me off. “Over? It’ll never be over,” I choke out, hating how careless he is. But he grew up in this life. He’s a Lord. His bloodline guarantees he’ll never have to go through what I’ll have to endure. He’s a man. I’m just a whore for them all to use until I rot in this place.
I hear faint sounds of voices, followed by the sound of shuffling feet. They’re coming to take me. And I know one of them has the jacket in their hands. They’ll secure me in it and drag me down the hall by my hair…if I’m lucky. Or like the woman who had the rope wrapped around her neck that they dragged her by.
“Come on, sweetheart. Be a good girl and hand me the gun.”
Good girl?My knees almost buckle at his choice of words. I’ve always been that to him. I’ve given this man everything I had to offer. His friends too. But my life? At some point, a woman has to stand up for herself and draw a line. This is where I make a stand. I either escape or let them kill me trying. I’d gladly let him kill me than me kill him. But nothing about my life has ever been easy. Especially our love. “Would you kill me, Saint?” I ask, fresh tears running down my cheeks. Maybe they would keep me alive long enough to give birth, but after that? They’d just torture me. “Would you end my life if it was the only way to save me?”
He told me he’d hurt me if it meant he could keep me. But would he kill me to save me?
His head tilts to the side, his features showing his confusion. “No,” he answers softly. “I never want to exist in a world without you in it, sweetheart.”
I don’t know if I should laugh or cry at his answer. But he told me what I already knew—he’ll never let me go.
He reaches for the gun, and I shove it into his chest. He raises his hands, softly chuckling. I suck in a deep breath. “I’ll do it,” I warn, my body trembling but knowing this is my only way out of this hell.
“No, you won’t.” He sighs heavily as if I’ve lost my mind.
That’s what this place does to you. People weren’t meant to be caged. Do you know what it feels like not to exist? To know that no one is looking for you? It’s crippling. Mentally and physically. And then you find out that you have a life inside you? That there is something good to come out of something so awful? I want better for my child.
There is a life outside of this place, far past the Lords, and I’m going to get it. By shooting him, it gives me an out. I’ll be free. It’ll only cost my soul and the love of my life. But freedom always comes with a price.
“I’m… sorry,” I choke out, my throat so tight all I can do is whisper the next sentence. “I love you.” He’s said those three words to me several times. This is the first time I’ve said them to him.
His green eyes narrow on mine, and he takes a step toward me. “Ash—”
I pull the trigger.
* * *
I stand,shaking with the gun down by my side. His body lies on the floor, blood pooling underneath him. He’s coughing, body jerking at the movement.
“Saint?” Kashton calls out. His shoes echo off the concrete walls as he stomps his way down the stairwell. He heard the gun go off. Everyone had to.
I take a shaking step back as his body continues to convulse. Tears fall from my cheeks as my throat closes. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I—”
“Ash-tyn.” He coughs my name, blood splattering across his face.
“Saint?” Kashton yells once more, and he’s getting closer.
I lick my wet lips and turn my back to him, needing to leave. I didn’t shoot him for nothing. I rush out the hallway and down the corner. I scream when I hit a hard body. Looking up into a set of hard eyes, they drop to my gun.
My shaking hand tightens on it, ready to shoot anyone to get out of this place. “Get the fuck out of here. As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead. Do you understand me?” he growls, not making a move to take it from me or step back.
“I…understand.” I manage to say through a sob with a nod.
“Saint! Fuck!” Kashton shouts from around the corner. He just found his brother bleeding out in the hallway.
The man steps into me and lowers his lips to my ear. “We all pay for our sins, Ashtyn. You are no different. You can run from them all you want, but they will catch up with you no matter where you go.” Pulling back, he turns and walks back in the direction he came from, going away from the hallway I ran from.
Taking a deep breath, I run toward theEXITand shove it open, entering the black night and run deep into the woods. I’m sucking in breath after breath, and my lungs burn. I try not to trip over the uneven ground as I come up to the door that’s hidden inside a hill.
I sniff, my shaking hands unlock it, and yank it open. Bending down, I pick up the flashlight left for me and turn it on, closing the door behind me.
The sound of dripping water and rats scatter away from the light. I feel the bile rising, and I can’t stop it. The smell, the fear, the blood…
Bending over, I hold my hair back as I vomit. My head pounds from the guard tossing me around, and my ears ring. I try to take a calming breath and get myself together. I can’t stop now. We’ve come too far.
SAINT
