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She’s waiting for me to say something, her eyes expectant and a touch guarded as they look at me. All of a sudden, my heart is pumping a furious rhythm in my chest and something like panic claws inside me.
Why is she looking at me like I owe her anything? Anger unfurls unexpectedly and swiftly inside me, and I lash out before I can stop myself.
Like I always do.
“Don’t fall in love with me, Bellamy. I won’t love you back.”
She hides her reaction almost too well. I would think my words hadn’t had any effect if I hadn’t seen the way she’d almost imperceptibly flinched.
Seeing the flash of hurt on her face is enough to completely extinguish the unexplainable rage that’d run through me seconds before.
I’m searching for words that fail to come as they often do when I’m around her, but she brushes it off before I can say anything.
“Right. We’re just fucking aren’t we?” She asks, her tone almost flippant.
The anger is back, this time coupled with frustration with myself. For saying the right thing but it feeling like the wrong thing all of a sudden. For having her say we’re ‘just fucking’ when the thought of her fucking someone else makes me physically ill.
Self-destruct.
That’s what I just did, that’s what I always do.
She sits up and I think she’s going to stand and walk away. I should let her, but I don't want to.
Instead, she drops to her knees between my legs. She has her hands on my belt and is unbuckling it before I come to full consciousness.
I grip her jaw and hike her chin up so her eyes meet mine. She’s switched off completely and now it’s her gaze that gives nothing away.
“Think long and hard before you do what you’re about to do.” I growl out. “Because once you wrap those lips around my cock, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
She’d continued unbuckling my trousers as I spoke. Reaching a hand into my briefs, she fists my cock and pulls it out. She looks at it with something akin to wonder in her eyes and I remember how she’d stared at my dick when I’d fucked her.
There’d been raw hunger in her eyes and it’s there in her gaze once again.
“I can handle it.” Bellamy replies before placing her tongue at the base of my shaft and licking a straight line up to the head where she swirls her tongue around the tip.
“Fuck.” I bite out on a groan.
She continues to lick around the head and down my shaft as she traces the contours of my dick. Her hand pumps up and down in a steady rhythm as she licks me but never takes me in her mouth.
My hand comes down to grab the back of her head and force it towards my cock.
“Suck it like you mean it.”
???
22.
Bellamy
His thighs shake below my forearms as I continue teasing him with my tongue, but avoid sucking him into my wet mouth.
Suck it like you mean it.
The words are like pouring gasoline on an already roaring fire, spreading flames of desire through me. I enjoy having control over him in this way, being able to dangle pleasure in and out of reach as I wish.
Keeping eye contact with him, I let my mouth close in around his head, my cheeks hollowing as my lips suck down the length of him until he hits the back of my throat.
Shit. My mouth is stretched wide around him and I can’t breathe. I stay there for a beat, practicing my mental exercises to keep from panicking at the tight fit. I move my tongue back and forth subtly, licking the width of him as he’s in my mouth.
