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I knew he had something to do with it. He said he’d slay my demons and he has, one by freaking one. I want to tell him he doesn’t need to, that he shouldn’t risk himself for me, but I know I’d simply be wasting my breath.
So instead, I grab my bra and pull it off over my head.
“Yes, chef,” I say, throwing him a suggestive look.
His pupils dilate in response, his eyes darkening to the color of obsidian as he prowls towards me, closing the distance between us.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard. I hope you’re ready.”
???
My father mandates my presence back in Hong Kong over the holidays, so I leave three days later.
Tristan and I haven’t been separated for more than a day for weeks now, so saying goodbye is hard. Harder than I thought it would be. I don’t know why I didn’t prepare myself for it or think about how the winter holidays would impact us. Maybe I was willfully ignoring it.
I try to keep our goodbye short and sweet but of course he refuses. He drives me to the airport in Geneva, takes my luggage out, and waits in line with me while I check in. His arm hangs loosely around my shoulder as he scrolls on his socials.
It feels like the most natural thing in the world to be like this.
I’ve dreaded going home the last few years, but I’ve always resigned myself to it. Now, home feels like it’s the place I’m leaving behind, not the place I’m headed towards.
We haven't hadthe conversation, Tristan and I, so I wonder if he feels the same. He still jokes about how I won’t date him, but now I stay silent when he does. He hasn’t picked up on it or asked me to be more since, so maybe he’s fine with the way things are.
I know he cares about me but I don’t know if he sees a future with me. It feels impossible and complicated what with his career and the stigma around how we met. I don’t know when we’ll be able to be together in public, if ever.
I don’t know if he’d even want that. I’m only slowly letting down my walls and opening myself up to that idea.
“What are you stressing yourself out about over there?” He asks, pulling me from my looping thoughts. He says it without looking up from his phone, like he canfeelmy mind spiraling. “I can see your thoughts working overtime.”
“Nothing.”
We get up to the counter and I hand over my documents.
“If you’re worried about your father, don’t be. You tell me if he so much as exhales in your direction. I’ll fly over there and come get you myself.”
I smile, taking my passport back as he places my suitcase on the conveyor belt.
“No, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I doubt he’ll be around much anyway, he’s not a big family guy. I’ll mostly hang out with Jude.”
“Then what are you worried about?” He asks, placing his arm back around my shoulders as we walk towards security.
“Nothing important, I’m serious. Just what I’ll do on the plane to distract myself,” I lie.
We’re standing in front of the security checkpoint where we’re going to go our separate ways and I have a ball in my throat.
“Okay, baby,” he says, kissing me.
I realized a while ago that he hasn’t called me ‘jailbait’ in weeks. I’m “pretty girl” when he’s speaking softly, “baby” when his eyes burn with lust.
He brushes his thumb over my nose in a gentle caress like he so often does.I swat at him playfully.
“Why do you always do that?” I grumble, but there’s a smile on my face.
His arms wrap around me, his hands coming to rest on my lower back and pulling me more tightly against him. Heavy eyes look at me through lowered lids as he swipes his thumb back over my nose, his touch affectionate.
“I like to check in on my little beauty marks. The five tiny ones you have spread out on your nose here. And here,” he says, tracing them individually. “And here. They’re my favorite,” he purrs, kissing the tip of my nose softly. “I’m going to miss them.”
My lips part but no words come out as emotion swells in my chest and chokes me. He cups my face in his hands, tilting it up to look at him as people mill about us. The airport is packed, canceled and delayed flights adding to the holiday mayhem, but it feels like we’re alone. People pass us as if on warp speed while we stay standing, staring at each other.
