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Chapter 52
Nera
June.
I’m pacing the locker room, nervous and restless. My heart feels like it’s in my throat and I can’t get my pulse to settle. I feel jittery and high strung, the last things you want to be heading into the final round of the Olympics.
I’ve made it this far. The gold medal is within reach, I just need to reach out and take it.
But for some reason in this moment the years of training fail me and I panic. My breaths turn shallow and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to make myself relax.
I fumble for my phone, buried at the bottom of my kit bag. I need to talk to Tristan. He’s in the stands, waiting to watch my bout but I need him.
“Hi,” I say when he picks up, the word tumbling gratefully from my lips.
“Hi, baby,” he answers. Just the calm, deep sound of his voice is enough to soothe.
“I…,” I try.
I can’t seem to get the words out. I don’t know what I’m hoping he’ll say. He always seems to know just what I need though, and this time is no different.
“Do you need me?”
“Yes.”
“I’m right outside your locker room door, can I come in?”
My throat dries as relief brings a wave of emotion. I nod, making only a small sound, and somehow, he knows that means yes. I turn to see the door open and there he is, striding in with his phone still held against his ear and the same happy smile on his face he gets every time he sees me.
“How?” I ask as he folds me into a warm hug. His body dwarfs mine and lends the reassurance and security I’d been yearning for. I can feel my heartrate slowing as I wrap my arms around his back.
When we parted after I advanced to the final round, he’d told me he was headed for the stands. So, I’m surprised to find him here.
He presses his lips against my forehead, my eyes closing at the contact. When he pulls back, he gives me a knowing smile.
“Just in case,” he says with something of a shrug. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I…I’m just not sure if I can do it. I’m doubting myself.”
He brushes a loose strand of hair affectionately behind my ear and cups my cheek. “I’m so proud of you, you know that?”
It’s not what I thought he’d say, but my skin heats.
“Because I made it this far?”
“Because you never gave up. It would have been so much easier to throw in the towel and let the terrible experiences you’ve had win. To decide this sport and the dedication it requires have taken more than enough from you and that you were done. That you just didn’t want to do it anymore.” He bends so his face is closer to mine, whispering encouragingly, “But you didn’t do that. You chose to fight. You chose to go through with it and take back the power. That’s why I’m proud of you, because you didn’t choose the easy way out. That’s what makes you a winner,that’swhy I know you’re going to win.”
My throat constricts. Nobody’s ever told me they were proud of me before and the words are a much-needed balm on my soul. They mean even more to me than I love you.
“Go out there andwin, Nera. Not because failure isn’t an option, but because you want it. Because you’ve put in all the work to get here. Get that win, baby, and do it for yourself, nobody else. No one’s ever wanted it more than you anyway.” He kisses my forehead once more than looks back into my eyes. “Okay?”
“Okay,” I say, smiling.
“Louder.”
“Okay!”
