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“We’re never getting back together, Rex. Ever.”
I turn and start running, a newfound burst of energy powering me around my final lap. For the first time since he became my Coach, Krav’s militant approach to my training regimen has proven its usefulness.
Chapter 9
Nera
When I’m done with my post-workout stretches, I head for the locker room. It’s got state of the art showers, with numerous shower heads and a dozen different pressure settings. It’s one of my favorite places on campus and sometimes I’ll sit in there for hours, letting my mind rest as the jets massage the knots out of my back.
Today, I’m in and out in under ten minutes. I have to get home in time to welcome our new American roommates, Bellamy and Thayer. They’re coming to RCA for our final year and Six and I have been pretty excited about welcoming them to our apartment.
When I come out of the shower, my head spins so violently that my balance gives. I stumble and catch myself on the wall. I stay there for a couple of minutes as I wait for the wave of dizziness to pass.
My blood sugar is low. I need to eat something. I gather my things with shaky hands and head out towards the parking lot, thankful to not have had any other run-ins with Rex. I’m not naive enough to think that was the end of our conversation – Rex isn’t overly familiar with the word ‘no’ – but if I can put it off for a few weeks, that’s already a win.
The closest option near me is to go toBella’s, the American diner on campus. It’s only greasy food and I’m sure I’ll regret it later, but I’m afraid I’ll pass out if I don’t eat something right now.
Six borrowed my car to go pick the girls up from the airport, so I drive over there in one of the campus golf carts and order.The first bite of the burger tastes like a perfectly ripe peach on a warm summer day.
Heaven.
I dig in, every subsequent bite after that making me realize how hungry I was. I haven’t had a burger in…ages. I grab a few fries next and eat them greedily.
A text from Six pulls me out of my food bliss.
Six:we’re five minutes away
Six:see you soon!
Shit, time got away from me.
I head back towards The Pen, one hand on the wheel, the other holding my burger. I pull over on the side of the road for a second to respond to her text when my phone starts ringing.
My back tenses when I see who’s calling. I consider sending her to voicemail, but I know she’ll just call again and again until I pick up.
Plus, I do miss talking to her.
“Hiya, Mum.” I say, pulling up FaceTime.
“Nera,” she says, her voice warm but her tone chastizing. “What have I told you about answering the phone that way?”
My shoulders tighten. “I’m sorry,” I tell her. “Hello, Mother.”
“That’s better. You really need to start behaving in a more ladylike fashion. Anyone could have heard,” she says, with a world-weary sigh.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat, working to keep my voice even. There’s really nothing else to say when she gets like this.
“That’s alright, darling. Just… try and do better, okay?” I nod, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. A deep frown pulls at her brow line. “Is that a burger?” The horror in her voice is akin to her asking me if I’m snacking on a rotting animal carcass, not a burger.
I swallow around the mass in my throat. All of a sudden, the burger settles uncomfortably in my stomach, like pieces of cinderblock weighing me down. My self-destructive thoughts rise like the dead and pound against the walls of my skull, demanding action and demanding it now.
It’s crazy how one word from her, one censuring comment, one disgusted look from across the world can pierce through to my core and cut me to the quick.
“My blood sugar was low, I needed to eat.” I hear how defensive I sound, but at least it hides the shame she makes me feel. “This is the closest thing I could find.”
“I’m sure it was convenient, darling.” Her words are kind but her tone is reproving. “But you need to be smarter about what you eat. You know how easy it is for you to put on weight and you don’t want to go back to what you used to look like, right?”
I look off into the distance before I answer. “No, Mother.”
