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“When we get back, we’re not going to be able to see each other again,” I said. There was a part of me that regretted saying the words. In a different world under different circumstances, perhaps. Who was I kidding? I was never his type and would never be his type. He said so himself that all his relationships were based on contracts and people who understood his lavish lifestyle. “We have to agree to keep to the terms of the separation, or the time starts over.”
“I know,” he said regretfully. “I will support you financially and in any other way I can.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want your money, Keir.”
“I know you don’t, but it’s there for you if you change your mind.”
We finished our meal, and he paid the bill. As we were on our way home, he stopped me. “Will you spend the night with me?” he asked. “Not because I’ve forced you but because you want to.”
“You want me to spend the night with you?”
“Aye, I do.”
“Why?”
“Because for once in my life, I want to pretend that I’m worthy.”
ChapterTwenty-Three
KEIR
Evie stopped walking and stared at me. “Pretend you’re worthy? That makes no sense. You are Keir Wilson, the most eligible bachelor in the UK. The sexiest man alive. Women throw themselves at you. You could have anyone you wanted and be worthy of it.”
“I want you.” It was that simple.
I wanted her.
But that’s how it usually went for me. I always wanted what I couldn’t have.
A father who loved me and didn’t beat the shite out of me as a kid.
I pushed him out of my mind. He was dead to me.
“We’re getting divorced, and we’re supposed to be separated. We can’t keep doing this. It could cost me everything.”
“I know.” I wished I could offer her more, but it was impossible. There is no way I could be married. I was half monster. She would never want to be with me if she knew the truth. “One night, Evie, then we’ll go our separate ways. I promise. Unless that is, you don’t want to be with me.”
“It’s not that Keir. I do want to be with you.”
I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath, and I let it out in a deep sigh. The entire day had been a bloody mess. From seeing my father to the news Leonard delivered. I couldn’t take any more disappointment. There was a long pause as she stood there hesitantly, and doubt crept back in like a silent specter. “Please don’t saybut.”
She shook her head and walked over to a wrought iron fence, looking out over the gardens and Edinburgh castle. I put my hand on her shoulders, kissing the back of her neck. “Evie.”
“I’ll stay,” she said, turning to face me.
I took her mouth in mine, kissing her softly. “Thank you.”
We walked the rest of the way down the esplanade to my flat. It was early November, and the sky was already beginning to darken as evening approached. “I’ve never brought a girl back here.” I unlocked the door. “Not to any of my homes except for you the other night.”
“Margot never stayed the night with you?” she asked, surprised.
“No, I told you our relationship was never like that.”
“Are you trying to make me feel special?” she joked. “Because I bet I’m also the only girl you’ve ever married.”
“I was being serious.” I went into the kitchen. “Whiskey or wine?”
“Wine.”
