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Zigor and I sing along as loud as we can while Jasper pulls out of the depot, his right eye twitching.
* * *
26
ADRIK
On Christmas Eve, I broker a deal with the Markovs for 25,000 doses ofMolniya.The Markovs own the largest slice of Moscow, and they don’t let anyone else sell in their territory. They used to buy from the Chechens, but Sabrina’s pill is the new hotness. Everyone wants it.
Sabrina’s coming along with me for the hand-off, because Ilsa will be there. Their friendship survived the breakup, though Sabrina’s been too busy to actually meet up with Ilsa since she came here.
I find her in the living room, trying to help Chief with his Tinder profile. Andrei sprawls on one of the beanbag chairs, shouting out opposite advice: “You need a pic where you look tough, manly. Doing something impressive. Maybe holding a big wad of cash.”
“He’s not trying to attractyou,Andrei.” Sabrina rolls her eyes. “He wants an actual human woman.”
“Women love money.”
“He’s not looking for a sugar baby. Here, Chief—this should be your profile pic.”
She points to one of Chief working on his bike, his coveralls down around his waist, only an undershirt on his upper half, his hair messy and grease all up his arms.
“I’m dirty,” Chief protests. “I look like a scrub.”
“You look competent,” Sabrina insists. “Look at your hands, your forearms …”
“Forearms!” Andrei scoffs.
“You’re gonna get swiped by girls who want to be touched,” Sabrina says, ignoring Andrei.
“I’m wearing my glasses. Glasses aren’t popular in Russia.”
“You look intelligent. You gotta be yourself on dating apps. There’s no point trying to look like one thing and showing up as another.”
“He won’t get any matches as himself,” Andrei warns.
“What do you know?” Sabrina snorts. “I haven’t seen you go on one date since I’ve been here.”
“I’m busy.”
“Yeah, busy losing to Hakim inDr. Mario.”
“I don’talwayslose,” Andrei says with dignity.
“What’s your caption?” Sabrina says, turning back to Chief.
“It says, ‘If you want to get to know me then ask.’ ”
“That’s terrible.”
Chief grimaces. “I was trying to be mysterious. I don’t know what to write.”
“You need to write the line that gets you what you want. The right bait for the right fish. You don’t want just any girl—you want the right girl. That’s why it’s best to be genuine all along. How about …’Match with me and I’ll make the first move.’ ”
“What girls will that get?”
“Curious ones. I know how funny you are on your keyboard. Go through their profile, find something interesting about them, come at these girls like you know them, the way you text me. You’re the funniest person in our group chats.”
“That’s true,” I back her up.
