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I grip her upper arm and pull her close.
“If he took five minutes to look closer, he’d have told me that you’re brilliant and bold, and that you were made for me in every possible way.”
She tilts her face up to me, but she doesn’t kiss me, only looking straight into my eyes.
“You won’t like everything about me,” she warns.
I kiss her, long and deep.
“Yes, I will. I want all of you Sabrina—every single fucking thing.”
* * *
11
SABRINA
I’ve got a serious problem.
I’m only supposed to stay in Oregon for a week—then I’m headed back to Kingmakers, catching the ship in Dubrovnik on September first, trapped on Isla Dvorca until the fifteenth of May. No laptops, no cell phones, and no visitors.
I came to Cannon Beach to get one last hit of Adrik Petrov before an eight-month detox.
Now I’m realizing I’m a full-blown addict.
Each day that passes, it only gets worse.
With him in Rafe’s room and me in Nix’s, and neither of us admitting that we’re actually dating, we have to sneak away to get our fix.
We’ve fucked down on the beach, in Rafe’s car, in the shower, in the basement gym, and even in the kitchen at two o’clock in the morning.
It’s never enough.
Each time I tell myself it’s the last time. Then I fuck him even sooner. The spaces when we’re apart grow shorter and shorter, and I need more and more of him to satisfy me. The second we’re done fucking, before I’ve even put back on all my clothes, I already want him again.
This is classic addict behavior. I’m sneaking around, lying to Nix, and god knows I’d cheat, borrow, and steal to get more of him.
When I can’t get it, I’m fidgety and irritable. I don’t want food or entertainment. I only want Adrik.
No one has ever had this kind of power over me. It scares me. I almost hate it.
How I feel is irrelevant, because I’m not in control. I make promises to myself, then break them the next minute. Resistance is pain and giving in is the deepest of pleasures.
There’s never been a drug on the planet that felt as good as this. The more I cross my own lines, the better it feels.
I suck his cock like I need his cum to live.
I let him spank me till my ass is red and choke me until all I can do is mouth the word “more.”
The rougher the sex, the more I like it. I’ve never let a man leave a mark on me before, and now I’m wearing hoodies in the summer to cover the hickies on my neck and the bruises on my wrists.
I’ve never been with someone wilder than me, or more aggressive. It’s an escalating arms race with no end in sight. Even Adrik seems shocked at himself when I slap him across the face and he slaps me right back. We stare at each other, wide-eyed and panting, before I leap on him again. He flips me over and shoves me face-down in the sand, fucking me until my whole chest is scraped raw, my bikini top washed away by the tide.
I sneak back to the house as the sun rises, red and sore, covered all over in wet sand. I rinse off at the outdoor shower, already regretting that I promised Nix we’d go shopping in town.
I want to spend time with her—of course I do—but I’d prefer an activity that Rafe and Adrik might join, or at least something at the house where I might catch a glimpse of Adrik reading a book in the hammock, or smell his cologne as I pass by Rafe’s room.
I only have two more days before I’m supposed to fly to Dubrovnik. I’m a kid desperately trying to ride every last ride before Disneyland closes.
