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He took her by the upper arms. “Whoa.” There was that smile again, and he was much too close. She hadn’t showered, of course, and neither had he. He smelled great: warm and a little musky, the way men did when they’d been working out. She suspected she didn’t.
The oven wentbeep-beep-beep,and she heard it, but she couldn’t move. She was staring up at him, seeing the shadow of beard on his cheeks and neck, feeling the strength of his hands, and getting an arrow of pure lust straight down her body. Her thighs tingled. Hernipplestingled. She hadn’t even known that was a thing. Until he dropped her arms and said, “I’ll get it,” and went to do it, and she breathed and tried to get herself under control and thought,You cannot jump into bed with a man you barely know. So much potential for disaster. If you do half the things you want to and it doesn’t work out, and he talks around the guys, what happens then? If every working man in this town who comes in for his speeding ticket or his drug habit knows what you like in bed? And if youdon’tdo the things you want to, he’ll think you’re boring and dump you and talk aboutthat. And then there are the kids. You don’t get involved with a man with kids. You shouldn’t even be here now. You should have waited until he had a babysitter and seen himwithoutthe kids. You were a family lawattorney!
She went back to heating soup and fixing salad. She was so not good at this. She was just going to tell him so. Shake his hand, like she had with Julio Vega—who hadn’t seemed like he’d be weeping into his pillow over it—and explain. She could explain. Logically. Rationally. They were both adults. He was a reasonable man.
She’d just explain.
14
THE PAST INTRUDES
They had a film playing on TV, but Beckett wasn’t really following the complicated plot, other than that it was something about spies and double-crosses. He was on the couch, and so was Quinn, but the middle cushion loomed large between them. How the hell did you get to the next level? He’d used to know. He didn’t seem to know anymore.
Of course, when your five-year-old had popped up twice, rat-dog in tow, to discuss important topics like, “It’s Show and Tell tomorrow. I forgot I’m supposed to bring something and tell about it, but the only thing I can think to tell is about the trampoline, and you can’t bring a trampoline to school”—well, that might dampen the mood a bit.
Now, Quinn cleared her throat, and he grabbed the remote, paused the film, and asked, “What?”
“Oh,” she said. “No, that’s OK. I was just thinking, about tomorrow …”
She hesitated, which was unusual for her. He asked, “What?”
“I realize I’m an assertive person,” she said. “So you should feel free to tell me straight out if I’m overstepping.”
Why did he want to smile? “I think what you are,” he said, “is direct. Judging people probably calls for that. I know construction management does, which is why I’m a pretty direct bloke myself. I’m not the dentist, and my ego’s not fragile. Go on and say it.”
“Well, as you talked about Janey staying home on her own tomorrow …”
“What,” he said, “no good? She wants to be in her own bed, and that sounded reasonable.”
“No, it’s all right. You’re her father, and you know how responsible she is. I know you said you’d take her to the doctor, then come home at lunch and check on her, but if you like, I could drop by in the afternoon as well. Monday’s always arraignments, but those are in the morning, and I don’t have a trial.”
“That’s what you were worried about saying?” He wanted to laugh, but he was touched, too.
“Obviously,” she said a little stiffly, “it could be seen as overly involved. Rushing my fences, and so forth.”
“Rushing your fences? You? Maybe if you’d kissed me that first night and asked me for sex. Though, sorry to say, I may have taken it. As we’re being direct here.”
“Well, I couldn’t dothat,”she pointed out. “Your kids were in the car, and as we know, you don’t have a babysitter.”
He laughed. “Right. So are we worried that you’ll become obsessed with me? Stalk me? Pretty hard to believe, when you’re all the way over on the other side of this couch.”
“Oh.” She considered that. “Doesn’t it feel awkward if I move over, though? Like I’m asking you to kiss me?”
“Well,” he said, “if you asked me to kiss you, I’d be chuffed, so there’s that.”
“Which means what?”
“Pleased. If you asked me to kiss you, I’d be pleased to do it.”
“Right. Then I’m doing it. Because I want to know how it feels. Too bad I can’t brush my teeth first, though.”
* * *
What are you doing?she asked herself, even as she did it.What are you going for here?She didn’t make unpremeditated moves, and here she was anyway.
If you’d fantasized about a man ever since you’d met him, though, maybe it wasn’t all that unpremeditated.
He’d poured her exactly one glass of wine, and half of it was still in the glass, so no excuse there.
