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“How about a firebomb? Everyone should have a firebomb. I could put one together for you in a couple minutes.”
“You aren’t paying attention,” Lula said to Walburg. “You need to get your chubby behind out to our car. It happens that I don’t have a lot of patience and I’m getting cranky.”
Walburg adjusted his round Harry Potter lenses. “It happens that you don’t know who you’re dealing with,” he said. “I’m the bomb maker. I could blow you to smithereens at the touch of a button.”
Bella shoved Lula aside. “Too much talk,” she said. “You do what the slut say, or I put the eye on you.”
“What’s the eye?” Walburg asked.
“It’s a curse,” Lula said. “She does this thing with her eye and bad things happen to you.”
Walburg looked at me. “Are you people serious?”
I shrugged.
“Go ahead,” Walburg said to Bella. “Put the eye on me. Give it your best shot.”
“I go easy on you first time,” Bella said. “I make you poop your pants.”
Walburg burst out laughing and then…BRRRUP. He stopped laughing.
“Holy crap,” Lula said, stepping farther away from Walburg.
Bella gave a soft chuckle. “Heh, heh, heh. Good one, eh?” She looked at Walburg. “You coming to car now?”
“That was coincidence,” he said. “I get irritable bowel sometimes.”
“Okay, here goes,” Bella said. “This time I make your pee-pee swell up like watermelon. Maybe I give it big boils. I have good luck with boils curse.”
“No!” he said. “No boils. Look, I’m going to the door. This won’t take long, right?”
“Right,” I said.
“Is this your car?” he said. “I’m getting in. You want me in the back, right? Let’s go.”
Bella started to get in the front and Lula stopped her.
“My turn to sit up front,” Lula said. “We made a deal.”
“Deal is off,” Bella said.
“No way,” Lula said.
“I give you the eye,” Bella said.
“I’ll squash you like a bug,” Lula said.
“I don’t want to sit up front anyway,” Bella said.
We all got in and I backed out of the driveway.
“It don’t smell good back here,” Bella said.
“It don’t smell all that good up front either,” Lula said. “It’s coming from Walburg. We should have put him in the shower before putting him in the car. Maybe we should go back to his apartment.”
“Ignore it,” I said. “I’m not turning around.”
“Stop the car,” Bella said. “I’m getting out.”
