Page 11 of Dirty Thirty


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“Maybe it’s clown related,” Lula said. “Like he could go on clown cruises, or he could be part of a secret clown society.”

“He’s never mentioned anything like that,” Mrs. Manley said.

“I haven’t seen Andy in a while,” I said to Mrs. Manley. “Is he still friends with Steven Palmer and Jason Wiggs?”

“No. I believe Steven is living in North Carolina and Jason has a young family.”

“So, who’s his new friends?” Lula asked. “Are they clowns?”

“Lula is impressed that Andy used to be a clown,” I said to Mrs. Manley.

“He was a wonderful clown,” his mother said. “It’s a shame it didn’t work out. He’s been struggling to find himself ever since.”

“I understand he was a security guard at Plover’s Jewelry,” I said.

“Yes, but Martin Plover turned out to be a terrible person. He accused Andy of stealing. He even got the police involved. Nothing came of it, of course.”

A fluffy white cat was rubbing against Lula’s leg.

“Isn’t that nice,” Mrs. Manley said to Lula. “Sugar Cookie has taken to you.”

“Yeah, but I’m more or less allergic to cats,” Lula said.

“These cats are all up for adoption if either of you would like to give one of them a forever home,” Mrs. Manley said.

A second cat came over to investigate Lula.

“I feel hives coming on,” Lula said. “I’m getting all stuffed up.”

“I’d really like to talk to Andy,” I said to Mrs. Manley. “Is there any way I could get in touch with him?”

“He has a cell phone, but he doesn’t always answer it. I’ll give you the number. Sometimes it works if you text him.”

“My eyes are itchy,” Lula said. “I can feel my throat closing over. Are my lips swollen?” She had her hand on her forehead. “I’m sweating. That’s a bad sign. I could be going into heart failure or something. I gotta get out of here.”

She ran to the door, wrenched it open, and ran out.

“No!” Mrs. Manley shouted. “Close the door. These are indoor cats. They can’t go out. They’ll get lost.”

A bunch of cats rushed for the door and escaped before Mrs. Manley could stop them.

Mrs. Manley slammed the door shut and ran after the cats. “My kitties! My babies!”

Lula reached the car and opened the door, and Bob bounded out. He was in cat heaven. He didn’t know which cat to chase first. He had crazy eyes. He chased a calico up a tree and ran down a tuxedo cat that arched its back and hissed at him. I scooped up the tuxedo cat and it swiped at me, leaving bloody claw lines on my hand.

“I need some Benadryl. I need an antihistamine,” Lula said. “Anybody got an EpiPen?”

Mrs. Manley took the tuxedo cat from me. “You have to get Rusty,” she said. “He can’t get lost. He has a leaky heart valve. He needs his meds.”

“Which one is Rusty?” I asked.

“He’s sort of rust colored, and he only has one eye,” Mrs. Manley said.

Bob ran past me, and I grabbed his leash. He yanked me off my feet and dragged me halfway across the yard, but I held tight.I stood up, grabbed his collar, and muscled him to the car. Lula was inside checking herself out in the mirror.

“Do I look puffy?” she asked me. “Is my face red?”

Lula has skin the color of a Hershey’s Kiss. It was hard to tell if it was red.

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