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“I don’t know. We’ll talk.”
“Why are you so protective of Duncan?”
“It was my fault that he tried to rob Plover’s. I’m responsible for all this mess.”
“You were involved?”
“Not directly, but I wrote the story that pushed him into doing something stupid.”
“The story about Duncan Dreary.”
“Yeah. I thought it was just a fun thing we were doing together. You know, turning Duncan Dreary into Duncan Dare. Okay, so I’m not the most perceptive dude. I didn’t see that Duncan was buying into the whole transformation thing. I guess I should have known. All thosePink Panthermovies. He loved them. I mean, I like them too, but I don’t want tobeDavid Niven as the phantom.”
“Did you have any advance warning? Did he talk about robbing a jewelry store like David Niven?”
“We had lots of story ideas about robbing jewelry stores, but they were just story ideas. At least I thought that’s what they were. I guess you never know what’s going on inside people. One of the things that appealed to me about Duncan was that he was calm. He was like vanilla custard. Cool. Smooth. No surprises. My head is always a mess. I do outrageous things. I’ve done them all my life. Duncan seemed so sane and content with his life. And now it turns out that he was as crazy on the inside as I am on the outside. And then one day he showed up at Plover’s.”
“Wow,” I said.
“I had no advance warning,” Nutsy said. “I went brain-dead. I froze. My first thought was that it was a joke. And then it got serious. He had a gun. Turned out it was a fake gun, but I didn’t know that. I mean, he didn’t wink at me or anything. He was totally Duncan Dare. It scared the crap out of me.”
“That’s because you’re really a clown at heart,” Lula said. “I bet you’re one of those happy clowns with a smiley face and a red nose that goesbeep.”
“I didn’t have a red nose,” Nutsy said. “I was more of a contemporary mime.”
“A mime?” Lula said. “Like one of those French guys who pretend there’s a fake wall? No wonder you couldn’t get a job with a circus.”
“A clown is a kind of mime,” Nutsy said. “For the most part, clowns are silent.”
“I never thought of that,” Lula said. “That’s a fact more people should know about.”
“Okay, I sort of get why you want to help Duncan,” I said. “Explain the part about being in danger if he goes back.”
“You won’t believe me. No one ever believes me. I can’t blame them. I’m Nutsy.”
“You could try being Andrew,” I said.
“Andrew and Nutsy are one and the same,” Nutsy said. “Truth is, I like being Nutsy. I’m okay with it. I’m starting to get a grip on it.”
“Good for you,” Lula said. “I see what you’re saying. I was lucky on account of I was Lula when I was born, and I never wanted to be anyone else. I’ve always been big and beautiful. And I got some complexity to me too.”
I suppose I had a grip on being Stephanie, but I felt that it wasn’t much of an accomplishment. I suspected I was a pretty easy book to read.
We were standing by the front door, and I could hear a television on in the next room. I walked in and found Duncan in his recliner.
“Hi,” he said.
His voice was soft, and his eyes were slightly unfocused.
“How’s it going?” I asked.
“Okay,” he said. “I remember you. You came to the hospital.”
“I work for your bail bondsman. You missed your court date, and you need to reschedule.”
“Now?”
“When you’re feeling better.”
