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He moves to the center of the stage and scans his eyes over the packed old building, taking in his loyal flock like God looking over His sheep. When he finally gets to my section, Isaac pauses, meeting my eyes with an unnerving gaze that makes me want to both wither up and die, and preen.
“Mayor Alexander came to me recently to let me know this term of service will be his last.” The murmurs grow in volume. A strange buzzing starts up in the back of my skull, like talons scraping over my scalp. “And I’ve decided to run in his stead.” The whispers turn to gasps. The buzzing transforms again, merging with my already pounding headache and becoming a crushing full-body weight.
It shouldn’t surprise me when Mary’s claps are the loudest in the entire fucking building, but it does. My head slowly turns, my eyes narrowed, my heart in my throat.
“You knew.” I spit the accusation at her. But like a bullet ricocheting off metal, it bounces off her shoulders with a prim, nonchalant shrug.
“He needed someone to confide in.” I bite my tongue so hard it damn near bleeds. The urge to scream is unbearable.
He had me to confide in. It’s what I was there for—so he wouldn’t be alone. So he had someone to lean on. To take the weight off his shoulders and help him carry it.
“Besides,” she continues, pulling me from my seething thoughts, “all those late-night phone calls and how often we talk, it was bound to come up, eventually.”
My nails prick into my bare thighs and my head goes light, reminding me to breathe or risk passing out here and now, making a bigger mockery of myself than I already feel.
How could he not tell me?
Mayor. It’s a big deal—it’s massive. It means more time spent away from home, the church. Campaigning. There will be an election—though I doubt anyone would run against him. He’s loved here. Adored. He’ll win. And then…
Then I’ll lose him.
My brows crash together and my stomach threatens to revolt, my meager breakfast churning wildly in my gut.
Surely he’ll make more money as Mayor. Is that why he’s doing this? Guilt trickles in, mingling with my already fucked up thoughts.
But then another realization settles in.
I already do so much for him and our tiny, unconventional family. For the church, the town. How much more will I have to give?
Fingers brush over my shoulder in a move that could be misinterpreted as kindness, but I know better.
“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you,” Mary murmurs, keeping her voice down to not disturb Isaac, who, at some point, got on with the service.
Great.
The sooner he’s done, the sooner I can bolt.
I adjust the straps of my dress, trying to shrug her hand off. “It’s fine,” I whisper. But it’s not. Not at all. “He’s just been busy.”
Why am I making excuses for him?
Mary nods sympathetically, her tongue clicking in a motherly chastisement. “I know, dear. He works so hard.” Her gaze flits to Isaac and I swear to all that is holy; there are actual stars in her green eyes. “He does so much. Such a shame he does it all alone.”
“He’s not alone,” I hiss, my fists tightening around the hem of my dress. “He has me.” She blinks.
“But how long will that really last? Soon enough, you’ll leave the coop and where will he be then? Alone again.” She wipes the bleeding edge of her red lipstick with her finger, fixing a small smear. “We can’t have that, now can we?”
My heart pounds in time with my headache and my previous nausea returns with a vengeance. I can’t respond. Her words strike their intended mark with uncanny accuracy.
She’s somehow found my biggest fears. The deepest wells of my guilt, my sadness. More than anything, I want to leave Divinity Falls. But with that dream, that soul-deep desire, comes unfathomable shame. It’s why I haven’t left yet, despite technically having enough money to do so. I could go. I might not get as far as I want to, but I’ve made money online, good money, and I’ll continue to make it on the road.
If I just made the decision once and for all, I could see the world. I could leave this tiny backwards town. I could finally be free.
I could finally breathe.
But if I leave, he’ll be alone and I can’t do that to him.
Can I?
