AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I find it in the middle of the room, caught between the half-inch cracks that exist between the wooden planks. Grain after grain of dry, white rice, taunt me like a sick joke.
How?
How could this have happened?
I was here. I was watching. I was making sure.
You left.
You left.
You left.
My fist slams against the floor, the grooves digging into my skin the same way the rice used to. The same way it probably dug into Eve’s perfect skin. The same way it digs into my soul, clawing at the scraps of the person I’ve struggled to become, reminding me that I’m nothing but this.
A sinner on his knees begging for forgiveness for a crime he didn’t commit. Asking a God he doesn't believe in for another chance at being better. The echoes of my own labored breaths reverberate through the room, matching the rhythm of my pounding heart.
I close my eyes, willing myself to find the words, to articulate the remorse that churns inside me, sitting on my chest like a heavy boulder, suffocating me. But the silence feels oppressive, as if even the walls are holding their breath, waiting for me to speak.
I failed her.
“What happened to you? What happened to my Goldie?”
“You left.”
"Forgive me, Goldie," the words come out as a choked whisper, barely audible in the damned space. It's a plea, a desperate cry to a God I've questioned and doubted. Yet here I am, stripped bare, my pride and skepticism cast aside in this moment of reckoning.
The room remains unchanged, the shadows unmoved by my words. The memories flood back, a torrent of regret and shame. The choices I made, the paths I walked, each one worse than the previous. I see the face of the man I wronged, no matter how much I tried to be better. The hurt and disappointment in his black eyes is etched into my conscience, replaying on repeat.
Time seems to stretch, the seconds melting into minutes as I kneel in the same place she did.
But then, devastation turns to anger. Rage, frustration and rath, replaces the hurt, the memories. I blink rapidly and the room comes back into view. It’s then that I realize the shower’s off. I can hear Eve moving around in the bathroom, a familiar song spilling from her quiet lips.
With gritted teeth, I climb to my feet and brush off my knees. Just like before, I don’t hesitate as I charge forward and shove the bathroom door open.
Eve screams, dropping a towel she’d been using to dry her hair.
“What the—” Her voice dies off as she takes me in, my white-knuckled grip wrapped around the door handle, my face a mask of pure rage, my body primed to explode.
But then, her voice cracks as she meets my eyes and says, “You’re here.”
Everything in me deflates. My shoulders fall from my ears, my fingers loosen their grip, my chest expands with a deep, shuddering exhale.
“You’re okay.”
She blinks up at me. “Of course I’m fine,” she scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “No thanks to you.”
There’s hurt in her voice, but she’s pretending it doesn’t exist. She’s hiding, just like I am.
That’s when I notice her eyes are red-rimmed and shadowed with dark circles. I take in the exhaustion etched across every pretty line of her face. I see the weariness there, the hurt and fear she’s trying to mask as fury.
My eyes slide down her body, looking for any sign of injury but I can’t find what I’m looking for because…
A growl rattles my chest and the anger returns. “Why are you dressed like that, Eve?”
I know the answer.
To hide the evidence.
