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On God.
But doing that meant turning my back on all that’s left of my family. Isaac, the dwindling memories of Mama and Roman. Even parts of Daddy live inside that little town. He may have never stepped foot in our church or home, but he taught Isaac the way of the Lord. He loved Mama and me with everything he had. All that’s left of him is a little plot in Haven I haven’t visited in far too long and the whispers of his ghost Mama and I worked so hard to keep alive.
With her gone and me here, where does that leave him?
Where does it leave Isaac or Roman?
Where does it leave me?
I’ve been away from home for a little over a week now and with every day that passes, I find my footing a bit more. Olive’s made it her personal mission to cheer me up, one adventure at a time.
After Kon’s first driving lesson, we explored Mammoth. Chase had explained that it’s an old town that’s been revitalized over recent years.
It’s a beautiful blend of new and old, where life meets death in a way I’ve never experienced before. Remnants of buildings lay scattered next to remodeled vintage structures as though life has been breathed back into their bones. I understand why he and Roman chose to make this place their home. It feels nothing like the Georgia I’ve always known.
It feels like more.
People of all ages danced in and out of shops or restaurants. Parents walked the bustling streets with their kids. Loved-up couples stumbled out of bars and climbed into cabs while wrapped in each other. Music filled the streets, along with the sound of laughter and genuine happiness from just the simple act of existing.
It’s corny, but for some reason, hearing it made my eyes burn.
How is it I can come from a life so sheltered that seeing people my own age hooking up on street corners or smoking against a bar door can cause such a visceral, bone-deep reaction in me?
It was as though something in me lit up for the first time in my life, almost the way I feel when I’m behind my camera.
The feeling was so surprising, so addicting, that the next day when Oli said we were going to an arcade, I didn’t fight her on it. In fact, I even smiled when we played a terrible version of indoor, glow-in-the-dark mini-golf. And when she begged me to ride the bumper-cars twelve times in a row, I laughed.
Malls, new foods, a concert in a park, a zoo, gallery after gallery of art exhibits, drinks with my best friend. Every new adventure has made me feel a little more alive than I ever felt in Divinity. Every day that passes where I’m not stuck in the same monotony I’d grown used to, I realize just how caged I truly let myself become.
But it wasn’t until two days ago when Chase bundled me in his tiny sports car and wordlessly drove me to a non-descript grey building downtown that I realized how stupid I’ve really been.
“What is this, Chase?” I murmur, my throat dry as I take in the cement building he parked in front of.
He shifts awkwardly, the leather beneath his jeans creaking with the movement. His fingers drum along the steering wheel and his jaw pluses, but he doesn’t look at me. Not even when he finally speaks.
“Look,” he sighs, spearing his fingers through his hair. “You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to, but I figured I’d give you the option.” His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. “I was raised in Divinity. Spent my entire life there. Raised Oli there, took care of my mom when—” He breaks off, shaking his head and I fight the urge to hold his hand.
I know how hard that time was for him…for his mom and Oli, too, even though she was too little to remember much. All I know is from stories I’ve heard over the years and even that was enough to break my heart for their family.
He clears his throat, his eyes finally sliding to mine. “When my mom and Oli were sick, there were no hospitals for them back home.” My gaze snaps to the building, my palms going sweaty. “Divinity isn’t known for its forward thinking. But here in Mammoth, women have more options. More autonomy and control over their bodies.”
My eyes roam over the building again, taking in the women, quite a few of them obviously pregnant, to the Stork Parking signs and the medical symbols. I bite my lip as clarity washes over me.
“You brought me to see a doctor.”
He bobs his head. “A gynecologist. Same one Oli sees.”
I swallow roughly, my nails digging into my jeans. “But—” I pause, not knowing what to say.
Chase reaches over and grips my hand, squeezing softly. “You’re just as much of a sister to me as Olive is and if she were to find herself in a situation similar to yours, I’d want her to be checked out, to be safe.” He gives me a knowing look.
Because I’m messing around with two men.
Unprotected.
My head falls back and my eyes squeeze shut. “He said he’d had a vasectomy,” I choke out, my words barely audible. Isaac could have lied.
Roman and I haven’t had sex since we were younger, but Christ, we’ve gotten close and he’s never said a word about protection, his or mine.
