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But I do know why. Because he’s a sociopath who only cares about himself. Because he always hated the relationship Roman and I had, so why would he let us be together?
But I have to hear it.
“What happened?”
Roman leads me to the living room and we sink onto the couch. He gathers my hands tightly in his lap, his eyes flicking between mine. Letting out a long breath, he drops his head forward.
“That night was the best night of my life, Eve,” he begins, his voice soft. “I think I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you, but that night, it was…” He trails off on a sigh. “It was special. You’d been so sad that day. And I didn’t know how to help. I didn’t know how to take care of you. I just wanted to take your pain away, so I did the only thing I knew how.”
Tears burn my eyes as I stare at him. Swallowing thickly, I nod, because what else can I do? What can I say? I feel the same way.
That night, I’d lost my virginity to him. I’d given him something sacred, and I’ve never regretted it. Even though I was left alone, I never regretted him. Never regretted my choice.
He doesn’t think he took care of me, but he did. He gave me a moment of pleasure on an otherwise painful day. A painful week. He made me forget, for just a second, what that loss felt like.
“You remember I got out of bed to get you some water?” He looks at me, his dark brows bunched. My chin dips in a nod, my eyes searching his. “Isaac caught me in the kitchen. I ignored him at first because he was being a dick like usual. I just wanted to get your water and get back to you. I wanted to hold you, but he stopped me.
“He told me he’d heard us, and it made me sick. I wanted to protect you, and he’d heard you in your most vulnerable moments. I hated it. But I couldn’t change it. What happened, happened. Then he threatened me.”
“Threatened you?” I gasp. I scoot closer to him, tears lining my eyes. I wipe roughly at them, swallowing the lump in my throat. “How?”
“He said since I was eighteen and you were sixteen, I could get arrested for raping you. He said if I didn’t leave, he’d go to the police. That he’d tell everyone what a monster I was, that I’d taken advantage of you when you’d just lost Jane. It would’ve been his word against mine. And who would’ve believed me? Everyone knew I was a troublemaker. Isaac was—” He shakes his head, a humorless laugh leaving him. “He’s like God in that fucking town. They would’ve believed him, and I would’ve been taken away.”
“Roman,” I breathe. “Oh my God.” My mind reels as pieces begin falling into place.
With a deep breath, he continues. “He took my phone, and when I went to talk to you, he grabbed me. He—” Roman looks at me again, his face haunted. “He said he’d hurt me if I tried anything. He said to leave and never come back. To forget about you and Divinity. But I wrote you a note and told you to meet me by the tire swing.”
“Our spot,” I whisper, and he smiles sadly.
“Yeah, baby. Our spot.”
“That’s what you meant that day.”
You left.
You never came.
“I never saw your note,” I say frantically, tears streaming freely down my cheeks. “Ro, you have to believe me. If I would’ve seen it, I would’ve gone. I would’ve run away with you. I would’ve gone to Hell with you. Wherever you went, I would’ve gone, too. I’d—I’d do anything for you. I still will.”
“I know, Goldie,” he rasps. “I know that. But I was a stupid kid. I should’ve knocked on your window, or tried harder. I should’ve told him to fuck himself and take you with me. I should’ve contacted you sometime in the last four years. I should’ve done a lot of things. But I was hurt, and in my head, I made it into something it wasn’t. You were just a kid, baby. I was asking too much of you. It wasn’t fair.”
“But I would’ve gone,” I cry, trying to convince him. I would have. “If only I knew, I’d have run away with you. In a heartbeat, I would’ve gone to the ends of the Earth with you.” He cups the side of my face, his thumb gently brushing a tear away. “He took years from us, Ro. Years we could’ve had together. All this time—”
“I know,” he says again, sadder, his voice breaking.
“I never saw the note.” He nods, his fingers flexing. “You—or I thought it was you—texted me. You—” I make a frustrated sound. It wasn’t him. It was Isaac. “The message said to never contact you again. That you wanted nothing to do with me. That you’d gotten what you wanted, and you had to leave, that you had to start your life and I couldn’t hold you back anymore. You—you were going to school early. You told me to forget you.”
His eyes widen at the words, then his entire face shifts into something else. Something dark. Something full of fury. I inhale sharply, leaning slightly away.
“I would’ve never fucking said that,” he grits out, his hands tightening around mine. “I can’t believe him. That fucking bastard. He has to pay for this—” Roman shoves to his feet, his hands balling into fists at his sides as he paces. “That motherfucker. I could handle him hurting me, turning me away. But you? Why the fuck would he do that to you?”
“Ro, it’s okay—”
“It’s not fucking okay!” he shouts, making me wince. “He made you believe I didn’t want you. That I just used you and threw you away when I got what I wanted. He made you think I thought you were nothing.” He punches his fist into his hand. “It’s not okay. I loved you, Eve. I didn’t want to leave you, but I didn’t know what to do. And when you didn’t come to the swing, I thought you made your choice and I had to respect that. It fucking killed me, and I was so mad at you for so long because I thought you chose Divinity. That you chose him.”
“No,” I sob. “No. I chose you.” My knees shake as I get to my feet. Slowly, I approach him, my chest heaving. “I chose you then, and I choose you now.”
He sucks in a sharp breath, sounding like he’s holding back a sob. Tears line his hazel eyes, his thick black lashes damp. His hand wraps around the back of my neck and he tugs me closer.
