AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But don't worry; things got better after that. We were cared for by a family called the Jacksons. They took care of me and helped me learn to read and write. (I don't know if you knew back then, but I couldn't before. Gabe had to read all your letters to me and sit there, spelling each word out or writing it down for me to copy). But I learned Bella, and I went to school. A good school. Sure, it had its bullies, but nothing compared to the bully I grew up with. I wish I could have written to you and told you all this years ago. I hate knowing that you thought I had given up on you. I didn't. But since my father destroyed all of our letters, I didn't even have an address for you or your grandparents. I tried looking you up. I sat for hours typing your name into the internet, praying to find you somehow, but I never did.
The tears stream down my face, blurring the words as they drop onto the pages. Part of me can't bear to read anymore, but I know that if he was brave and honest enough to bear his soul to me like this, I need to be brave enough to continue.
For most of my time at the foster home, I was happy. They were a nice family. The only thing is, I didn't have Gabe for long. Gabe left about a year after we moved. He abandoned me. And it almost killed me, losing him and you. Some days I didn't even want to get out of bed, but I was determined to find my way back to you both one day. Gabe kept in touch. We spoke on the phone, but it wasn't the same. He moved back here to Washington and into our father's house after he died.
Our father was killed in a bar fight, and as awful as it sounds, please don't hate me for this… but I'm glad. Never again did I have to fear him coming back. He became nothing but a bad memory.
I always wanted to come back to you, Bella; that was always my plan. I wanted to move back sooner. As soon as Gabe was old enough to become my guardian, I wanted to leave, but my foster parents made me promise to stay until the end of the school year. I counted down the days, asking Gabe constantly if he had seen you, but he said he never did. Either way, I just knew in my heart that we’d find our way back to each other.
Finding you again was like a miracle, and in turn, the friendship you’ve brought into my life with Tucker and the girls is more than I could ever wish for.
I feel like, for once, I finally have a family. A strange, crazy, weird little family, but a family nonetheless.
Love always
Your best friend and boyfriend Nathaniel xxx
I can't help the smile that forms on my face through the tears. Despite his awful start in life and all the traumatic experiences he endured, it sounds like being taken into care changed his life for the better. He finally got a chance for a stable life with parents who cared for him.
I'm overcome with guilt and sorrow, though, knowing that I've held on to some anger and resentment all these years. I truly believed that he’d abandoned me, forgotten about me, and discarded our friendship when I needed him most. But now, I know nothing could have been further from the truth. And that knowledge finally brings me some happiness, relief, and much needed closure.
Nana comes in to ask me about dinner and sees me lying on the bed with puffy, red eyes. "Oh dear, what happened? Did you and Nate get into a fight? You seemed so happy when you left," she comments worriedly as she sits down at the end of my bed.
"Oh Nana, we had a fantastic day, even better than our day together at the fair. He even asked me to be his girlfriend." I sob.
"Okay, that all sounds wonderful, but that doesn't explain why you're here, crying alone," she replies skeptically as she moves closer to take me into her arms and hug me.
"We decided to write one last letter to each other, for old time's sake, and tell each other all the things we missed during the years we were apart." I sniffle.
"Ah, I see," Nana replies sadly.
"Nana, he was in care. He was torn away from his family; that's why he stopped writing. Not because he didn't care anymore, but because he had no way to contact me," I mention, wiping my eyes.
"Does he say anything else about his time in care?" asks Nana, sounding strangely quiet.
"No, he didn't even say who reported him, just that it was someone he knew who did it out of love. He also said his foster family was good to him, treated him well, and helped him do better in school. But Gabe left him, Nana. He was all alone." I gasp, looking up at her because only now do I notice a tear running down her face too. "What’s wrong, Nana?" I ask.
"I think we need to talk, honey," Nana replies before breaking down and telling me a story.
"Izzy, I've already spoken to Nathaniel, and we made our peace, so finally I feel ready to tell you. All I ask is that you don't hate me."
"Don't be silly, Nana. I could never hate you," I confess.
"It was me…"
"What was?" I interrupt.
"It was me who called social services. Well, technically, I called the school. They already had a case with social services, so they called and told them. But still, it was my fault that they came. It was almost a week before I found out they'd been taken into care, and by then it was too late to do anything to stop it."
"You? Why didn't you tell me?" I gasp.
"Because I was ashamed, Izzy. "I was the one who caused you all this pain. I had no idea where those boys had been taken, what happened to them, or if they lived a better life. I had to listen to you sob and cry all this time, knowing that I was the cause. I tried and tried to get information from social workers on where they had gone. But they refused to tell me. I left letters at the house with my phone number and address, praying a family member would see them and get back to me. But no one ever did."
"So Nate knows it was you? Why didn't he tell me?"
"Yes, dear. We had a whole heartfelt conversation when he came for dinner. It was hard, but I think, at least I hope, he found it in his heart to forgive me," Nana says, looking sad.
"He did Nana, I'm sure of it; he said he had a good life with them, look," I say, pointing to the part in the letter where he spoke about his time in care.
