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Another mild shake of my head.
“Oh, Jesse,” she breathes. “Oh, no.”
“Cathy, I—”
“You’ve moved a woman into your big, flashy penthouse to share your life, and you’re not really sharing your life.” She goes back to the pan and stirs some more before putting some bagels in the toaster. “That isn’t fair, my boy. She should know those things.” She abandons breakfast again and comes back to me, claiming my face, getting closer. Multiplying the guilt. “She should know every detail of what has made you the man you are today.”
I smile, and it’s so fucking sad. I'm not convinced Ava would wanteverydetail.Cathy doesn’t even know it all. I take her hands and pull them away from my face. It was pure accident that Cathy learned about my past when she found me on Jake’s and my thirtieth birthday absolutely battered on vodka. “Problem is, Cathy, my past is really ugly, and ugly shouldn’t feature in Ava’s life.”
“You’re protecting her?”
“Protecting what we have,” I confirm. “It’s precious.She’sprecious. She makes me want to be a better man, and there are so many reasons for her not to be with me.”
“Have faith, my boy.” She rubs my cheek. “If she’s as special as you say, if she loves you, she’ll understand.” She whips the jar of peanut butter out of my hand as I hum noncommittally. Her sentiment is sweet, but, I fear, wasted.
Cathy goes back to her cooking, and I return to digging deep for some positivity. “I’m thinking of proposing,” I blurt, catching myself by surprise as well as Cathy.Lie. I’m not thinking, I’m doing. Am I trying to get Cathy’s approval? Just one person who thinks it’s a good idea? Kate didn’t seem fazed when I told her.
Cathy’s mouth hangs open, the spoon limp. “My God, you are besotted, aren’t you?”
“Totally. She brings out the best in me.” And the absolute worst.
“When?”
I look over my shoulder, checking the coast is clear. Perhaps I should have done that before I mentioned anything about proposals. “It’s the anniversary of The Manor tonight.”
She bursts out laughing. “Do tell me you’re not thinking of asking her at your sex cave.”
I roll my eyes. “No, but it will be the first time she sees The Manor in all its glory.”
“Well, that’s hardly fair.” She sniffs, pulling two plates down and putting the bagels on them, followed by the eggs. “I’ve always wanted to explore the dungeons of The Manor, and you’ve always insisted I can’t.”
“I’ve told you, you won’t fit in.”
“And Ava will?” She looks up as I jerk on my stool.
“No, she doesn’t fit in at all, but if she’s going to marry me, she has to see my business.”
“So you’re confident she’ll say yes?”
I jolt again. I love her, she loves me, so any day we don’t spend together is a total waste of our times. Of course she’ll marry me.
I think.
“Here eat.” Cathy puts the plate before me. “You need to build some energy,” she says, walking away. “And some balls.”
I cough. “Thanks.”
“Welcome. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.” She holds her crossed fingers up. “Now, tell me, what happened to the elevator.”
I frown as I sink my teeth into my bagel.
“I’m quite sure it had fancy mirrored doors when I was here yesterday.”
“Oh, the doors.”Fuck, the doors.I can’t tell Cathy the truth. Seems I’m not very good at speaking the truth of anything to anyone. “I don’t know. I’ve filed a complaint with maintenance. The damn things shattered.” I take another bite of my breakfast to halt the lies pouring out. “Obviously faulty glass.”Shut the fuck up, Ward.
Her eyes drop to my recovering fist. “Fancy that. Glass just spontaneously combusting.”
I hum, nodding. Cringing.
